I Swear To Not Get Burger Grease On These Letters
by The Genius of Evil
Summary: America is now heroically accepting letters! And he'll take any letters coming his way. NOTE: Please make sure that the letters are all in...American... - Inspired by all those other letter stories because they're just so interesting...
1. The Heroic Letter To You All

TO EVERYONE,

WASSSSUUUUP! America, here, and I'm writing letters too. Seeing as I'm just one kick-ass country, I figured I had to join in on this letter-writing thing too. So...

I'M SOOO GOING TO BE HAPPY WHEN YOU ALL SEND IN BOMBIN' LETTERS TO ME!

I mean, seriously. Who wouldn't want to write to me? I'm cooler than ice. I'm hotter than the sun.

So hot, you could cook an egg on my abs.

...

No homo.

ANYWAYS.

Since I have some knock-out stuff to do, I hope to here from you all soon with all ya'll kickin' letters, dudes.

Peace!  
>-YOU ESS UV AY! <em>Alfred F. Jones<em>

* * *

><p><strong>:'D Heh. I really should be getting to my other stories. But I'm on a bad writers block...so anyways. Hi. :D I decided to submit one of these letter fic-things too. x) I thought it'd be fun. I honestly don't know if anyone else has already started this with America, but if they have, then I'll just have to go ahead and say in advance:<strong>

**SORRY. D:**

**But seriously, though...I really am. If...well, you get it.**

**So...yeh. Send in dem letters...or something. **

**...**

**o-o Jeez, I'm such a noob at this...**


	2. 4 Heroic Letters Back To You

America,

Could you explain why you are such a jerk?

-Belarus

* * *

><p>Dear Belarus,<p>

Could you explain why your brother is such a douchetard?

Eh...heh. I'm just kidding! Seriously... your brother's a nice guy, and I...hope you get to marry him someday...seriously...

...

...And I can't explain why I'm a jerk because I didn't notice until just now, so...yeah...

But I'll stop being one from now on for you and everyone else!

Because I'm the hero.

-U.S. of A. _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p>Hola America~<p>

It's Costa Rica! You know, who one who gives you coffee and other stuff? The one who's twin sister hates your guts? Nevermind...

Anyway, it's been awhile since you visited! And Panama also misses you. Whatcha been doin'?

I'm gonna log out now lest Nicaragua barge in and then proceed to rant about you... again...

Costa Rica (Francisco Salas)

* * *

><p>Costa Rica!<p>

Dude. DUDE. I really haven't heard from you in a while, man. But I don't think I'd ever forget ya. I'd totally stop by to talk and hang out, but I've got some serious headache-inducing work to do that's just bombin' my life. Really.

It's amazing that I could just chill for about an hour or two to reply to letters and stuff, bro.

And, hell yeah!, I'm F-BOMBINGLY HAPPY that you sent a letter. I seriously hope that your sis doesn't, though. She's a bit crazy, man. But don't tell her I said that. I think she'd be (maybe) a freakin' cool person if it didn't look like she wanted to RIP MY THROAT OUT.

But yeah. She does. So she isn't. Tell her that she should try being NICER.

And I'm really missed? That's so nice.

SO NICE, that I might just visit you two the next time I don't have any work to do. Hopefully that's soon. That's all I've been doing lately...Working. On important stuff. To be honest, the work is just trying to straight out some minor problems going on. They're environmental-related. I'm sure I'll be done with my work soon.

Man, I totally wish the problems could be fixed already, but IT JUST WON'T.

-THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA _Alfred 'Fucking Awesome' Jones_

P.S. Have you turned into a dude, yet? Last time I saw you, you still looked a bit feminine, man.

* * *

><p>Dear papa,<p>

I couldn't think of one person who would want to cook an egg on your abs besides that ol frog France. Where have you been lately? I haven't seen you in a long time. Us southern states need love too!

Nina-Claire Jones (North Carolina)

* * *

><p>Dear my little Nina-North-Caro-kins,<p>

I can't believe you took the time to actually write a letter to your old dad! It makes me feel so loved. Don't think that I've just been avoiding you lately or anything! I love you and all of your brothers and sisters equally. I really do!

I wouldn't be ANYTHING without you all.

And I've just been really busy, you know? Boss has been telling me to help out with the environment. I'll be sure to see you in the near future too. I'd actually love it if you could tell your brothers and sisters about that! Maybe a whole family group reunion thing. I think that'd be pretty far out. I really haven't seen you or anyone else in a while...

Love,  
>-America <em>Your Dad, yo<em>

P.S. Yeah...you're right about France, Nina...spot on, actually... Dude kinda needs to back the eff off of everyone...

* * *

><p>Well, well! If it isn't Uncle Al!<p>

It's your niece, British Columbia. You know, Canadia's kid? Ahaha. But seriously. You better remember my dad.

How's life? Stuff's average up here. You haven't been up to my place for a videogame night in all too long. You should get your fatty (totally kidding, dude. You know I totally love you. 8D) American ass up here so I can whoop it at the new Mortal Kombat that just came out the other week.

Lots of love,

Lyra.

P.S. Dad's being stupid. Can you sign for a tattoo for me instead? I'll pay for it and take you for McDicks afterward. Pleeeeease?

* * *

><p>Dear BC,<p>

I remember your dad, DON'T WORRY. I couldn't NOT remember my bro. I've only forgotten him...maybe...just a COUPLE of times. No more than that. Honestly.

He's just really...quiet, yo. Dude needs to speak up. How is it that you just happen to be...the total opposite of him?

It freakin' blows my mind, yo.

Oh, I'm...alright, btw. (^_^)b

And another video game night? I'll totally visit you too (I've already got to visit a few more people. I guess when the hero disappears for a bit, eveyone starts to miss him more than...I don't know...burgers. But no one else seems to really like burgers like I do, so maybe that isn't exactly a good example...) once I'm done with EVERYTHING I've got to do. And when I get to see you again, I'll PWN you at Mortal Kombat. I won't go easy on you. I PROMISE you that.

Love,  
>- U.S.A. <em>(The Epic) Uncle Al<em>

P.S. NO. If I did, don't you think your dad would notice? Then he'd just go off on me, believe it or not (although, if bro tries to yell at me, it might still come out as a whisper). No matter how tempting _McDonalds _is to me, I'll pass on your plan. Until you can find a bombin' way to NOT get found out by your dad, I'm not gonna do it, yo. I've got to be a responsible country, SOMETIME or another.


	3. 4 Heroic Letters Back To You Again

안녕하세요!

How have you been Da~ze? Aniki won't aknowlege me as his older brother! He even ripped up my drawing of him! I worked really hard on that Da~ze! By the way the package that came with this letter has sone really good Kimichi in it Da~ze!

-South Korea

P.S. You have very nice gropeable breasts Da~ze! They belong to me!

* * *

><p>South Korea,<p>

I DON'T HAVE BREASTS. Ima dude, yo. There's really only one thing to grope and there's no way in hell that ANYONE is going to go near that. Stick to Japan, please, man...

Oh wait...Don't do that either.

Just grope...-

You know what? Just don't grope ANYONE.

Maybe your 'Aniki' will like you more if you do that.

Although, I honestly wouldn't get your hopes up...

But anyways, I'm doing good, yo! I have to be, because I'm the hero!

-The United States of America _Alfred 'Fucking Don't Grope Me' Jones_

P.S. Thanks for the weird food, man...I'd eat it, but...there's A LOT of vegatables...I'll try it soon, though.

* * *

><p>Kumusta (hello) Alfred,<p>

I want to get one thing clear:

I.

AM NOT.

LITHUANIA.

7/10 times,whenever I talk to you,you go "Hey Toris!" Seriously,why the hell would you mistake me for him? We look nothing alike! Just because he worked for you the same time I did,does NOT mean we resemble each other! Get it through your head: My name is Philippines. Lorenzo. NOT Toris, LORENZO.

Now we got that out the way, how you been? I actually don't see you much anymore besides World Meetings,so you should visit me sometime. :)

Republic of Philippines (Lorenzo de Verde Roxas)

P.S. Would you please tell Texas to stop going trigger-happy everytime I talk to California? I never have any intention of doing something bad to her,we're great friends! You know that... right?

* * *

><p>Lorenzo,<p>

Whoa, sorry, man. I'll be sure to remember to not call you Toris next time I see you. Sometimes my kick-ass-ness just isn't as kick-ass as it should be when telling other fellow countries apart, I guess.

And I think it'd be AWESOME to visit you. But, like I've said to the others who sent me letters, I'VE GOT TO HELP THE ENVIRONMENT WITH MY SMALL, BUT GOOD, DEEDS THAT I'M MAKING RIGHT HERE IN MY HOME.

tbh, I didn't think it was possible to help the ozone layer and stuff while you're cramped up inside.

I guess I'm just a total BAMF.

-USA _Alfred 'Fine I Won't Call You Toris' Jones_

P.S. I'll try and reason with Texas the next time I see him. But dude, you've got to realize that he is GOING to try and kick your ass everytime you're near Calli, man. I know you're a good guy, but you're not going to get him to realize that. And YES, I know you're just great friends. It's just AMAZING how you haven't even developed a SINGLE crush on her...

* * *

><p>America,<p>

...you're literate?

England

* * *

><p>England,<p>

YES I AM.

America

* * *

><p>Dear Uncle Alfred,<p>

My name is Savannah and it is a pleasure to be able to write to you at long last. Perhaps you do not remember me, but I am Arthur Kirkland's Capital, London.

I wish to thank you for World War Two, it was one of the more painful times in my life, all those bombs were truly frightening, not just because of the people they killed, or the pain they made me suffer, but because of how loud they were, how different pains ran across me from them.

I hope, given time, my Father and you shall be able to be as close as you once were prior to your war against each other. I can not begin to express how devestated you left him on that cold, rainy, day. It was a cruel thing that leaves him to drink very heavily on July 4th every time.

So, hopefully this letter will open up a new path for all of us.

With regards,

Savannah Kirkland

* * *

><p>Savannah,<p>

Wow, I didn't think that someone so closely related to England would actually write me a letter. Hell, man, I didn't even expect ENGLAND himself to send me one either, but he did. Even if it was only ONE sentence long.

And he still managed a way to try and insult me, yo. I can tell he was trying to do it. But I'm the hero, so it just didn't

WORK OUT THE WAY HE PLANNED.

HAHAHAHA!

Anyways, that letter you sent was kind of... depressing, you know? WWII Was pretty hard on a lot of people...

...Moving on...

...Well, MAYBE if England wasn't such an ass-face, about...ALL THE TIME, then we could start to get along.

It's possible that I should be more nice about this subject or whatever, but he needs to NOT be so jerkface-ish. He's cool. But he's not cool. Get what I'm saying?

But it's nice to get a letter from you, London. I hope to hear from you again, yo!

-America _Your Uncle Al, apparently. Seriously though, just call me Uncle Al, not Uncle Alfred. It makes me feel old._

* * *

><p><strong>Wow. :O I can't believe I got 8 reviewletter things for that one chapter. x) It makes me feel extremely happy. And I used ALL OF THEM. Maybe I shouldn't have or something and just have chosen one, but I wanted and needed to use all of them. But there were 8 and I just split it into 2...chapters. **

**Also, I was kind of mad when I posted this just now (I had to replace the chapters and edit a bit...I did it quick, didn't I?) because I FORGOT to edit it in document manager and stuff. I was kinda liek "OH FEDGESCICLES! :U" and now I'm finally editing. Anyways~. I hope I did alright... (with the whole thing overall) And because it was in a review~...YES, I'm alright with USUK, but I secretly ship Ameripan, so... :U Whoaness.**

**If I find any mistakes that stupid document manager had decided to 'fix', then I'll 'fix' it right back to where it used to be. And if I find any mistakes that I made by myself by accident, then I'll fix that too. I'm just not doing it right now because I don't feel like it. I'll do it later, I promise~. If you find any and it bugs you, then please just ignore it. And this really is just a letter fic, does it actually matter...? Yes, because I'm a perfectionist. But anyways...I'm just ranting. Tschues! (I looked that up on Google Translate to make sure I was right with the spelling. I wasn't...I thought it was spelled Tschuss and pronounced 'Ciao'. I could've sworn it was...Maybe Google Translate is just being a total ass and I'm right.)**


	4. 2 x 2 Plus 2 Equals Six Heroic Letters

Dear Uncle Alfred,

I suppose he could be less...curish to you about it, yes. But he prized you above all others in his family, it stands to reason it broke him the most when you left him.

Perhaps if you didn't make such a huge fuss over your birthday, to him it's more like a slap to the face than anything else? And perhaps even pretend to see the creatures he talks to out of being so lonely?

With regards,

Savannah Kirkland

* * *

><p>SUH-VAN-UUUUH,<p>

Do I REALLY have to pretend like the creatures he talks to are real? Seriously?

But I can't SEE theeeeeem. They're not real! The dude is, like...on CRACK or something! Seriously!

...

Eh...but I'll do it. For you, London, 'cause you're too awesome to be so closely related to England.

And because Boss wants me to improve relations with others...Pffffft...

Anyways, on a totally different note, you need to seriously call me 'Uncle Al', not 'Uncle Alfred'. It makes me feel...all old and stuff...even if I AM a country.

And I shall call you 'Van-Chan', because Japan told about the '-san', '-kun', and '-chan' things and I though it'd be bombin'. Even if I still don't get what all of them mean...

-USA _Uncle AL._

P.S. ...I think I might still celebrate my birthday awesomely just for the heck of it, though...

* * *

><p>Dear Uncle Al,<p>

Aw. Well, I'll conveniently forget the few times you have forgotten him and I won't be forced to sick my pod of pet killer whales on you...

Okay, I don't have a pod of killer whales. I TOTALLY wish I did though.

And, uh, thanks, I think? Maybe I'm so different from dad because I'm closer to your your states than most of my siblings? That and, well, you did /claim some of my territory/ a while back. Remember "Fifty-four, Forty or Fight? Maybe having to give some of myself over made me act like you.

You wish, old man. I'm gonna fatality your ass up and down the street, dude. And there ain't a thing you can do about it. ;D

Holy crap, Dad was right. I totally do talk just like you.

Freaky... Wish I could stop.

ALSO. The package I sent with this letter may smell a bit fishy, but it's totally fine. It's a batch of smoked salmon. I figured you might like a taste of BC. It goes good with almost everything. Totally not kidding~

Lotsa love... and smoked salmon,

Lyra

PS. Aw, come on! It's not even anything bad! It's just a native salmon design... It's symbolic of my native people. Dad's just being a stick in the mud. "You can find another way to honor your roots, Lyra." Hmph. Nothing that's permanent. Pleeeaase?

All you can eat McDicks for two weeks.

And I'll go easy on you on that video game. What'cha say?

* * *

><p>Lyra:<p>

1. Thanks for the fish. I would've eaten it...but...I never really got to the package...a dog freakin' snatched it and ran away before I could do anything.

2. Killer whales got nothing on my nukes, yo. But don't worry. I wouldn't nuke ANYONE...'cept maybe Russia, because he's a bit of a creepy douche, but...yeah.

3. I'm pretty sure that bro probably isn't exactly happy about us having similar personalities...And to top it off, we're related to him and he HAS to deal with us? Harsh, man. And it's cool acting like me! I'm off the chain, so don't wish to be different...Do you WANT to act like your dad? Not that there's anything wrong with bro, but...you know...

4. There's no way in hell that you're going to beat the hero. Nice try, BC.

5. Alright, fine. I might be able to help you with that tattoo thing in a week, but if you lied or the tattoo has something along the lines of "I'm a fucking badass" written with it, then I'm never. Gonna do. Anything. For you. Ever. Again.

Kidding~. You're my neice, so I will. Just don't expect me to be so accepting of any other idea you have like that again. But that's only if. Just make sure bro doesn't find out about it too.

And since I'm doing this for you, I demand that you DON'T go easy on me. Beating you at a video game wouldn't be as fun if you didn't try.

6. And _McDonalds _for a MONTH.

Love,  
>-America <em>Alfred 'For Some Reason, Writing This Letter With Numbers' Jones<em>

* * *

><p>Dear papa,<p>

And I can't believe you're suprised I wrote to you. Well, I'll be sure to pass the news about that reunion thing. Expect ALOT of food, you know how we get. About the environment thing, did you try that giant superhero theory to save the earth from global warming? I don't think it would work unless it's Wolverine or Chuck Norris.

Love

Nina-Claire

your daughter yo :p

p.s. France creeps me out...

* * *

><p>Nina...Nina, Nina, Nina...Yes, of course I was surprised...Some of your brothers and sisters act like rebellious teenagers, I swear...<p>

And The superhero idea was a total bust...Something about it being impossible. I even brought up the idea of Harrison Ford being it too, but that just...No, it was too far to COMPREHEND for them, I guess. The dudes that voted against the idea need to seriously LOOSEN UP.

Eh.

But yeah, I TOTALLY, know how you guys act.

Food

is the key

to a happy pair

of 50 states

and their awesome

country!

Far out poem, I know.

Love,  
>-Me. :D Yo.<p>

P.S. He creeps EVERYONE out, Nina.

* * *

><p>Hola America,<p>

It's nice to know I'm not forgotten. Ah, si, the work really sucks, doesn't it?

Well, you know Nicaragua: bipolar as shit. And I guess she's still mad about the 1850's when you tried to make her a state... and then that time when you occupied her land by force...dude, you were a douche back then...

I tried telling her. She then proceeded to ask Él Salvador for a shotgun... my sister is really scary... but then again, Honduras DOES act like a male Belarus around her...

That's good. Panama misses you a lot! And it's good that it's environmental stuff. The environment helps my already awesome economy.

Costa Rica (Francisco Salas)

P.S. dude, AGAIN with the feminine jokes?

Costa Rica,

* * *

><p>Course you're not forgotten. And yes, the work DOES suck. I haven't even slept in a while, man...I've been working on trying to finish this stuff as soon as possible. I need a break.<p>

Hey...I wasn't a douche! ...Maybe...but I wasn't a COMPLETE douche! At least I'm different now, I guess...

...It's totally England's fault anyways.

Man, you REALLY have no control over your crazy sister, don't you? She needs to Forgive and Forget. Both words are capatilized because they are VERY important.

Life-threateningly important.

Anyways. Dude, I already help out your country enough with the amount of American tourists you get. Seriously, yo.

-USA _Alfred 'Fffff, Your sis is seriously insane' Jones_

P.S. ...I wasn't joking...

* * *

><p>Oi, Americano!<p>

What the hell are you doing talking to mi hermano gemelo? I already have a shitty economy because of you, bastard! The last thing I need is you screwing with my brother's economy! Ay dios mios...

And si, I do look like I want to rip your throat out. But at least I'm not like Colombia who kidnapped you and almost DID RIP YOUR THROAT OUT! And I'm not crazy. I've just had bad presidents and random crap happen to me...

Fuck off,

Nicaragua (Luisa Rodriguez)

* * *

><p>Nicaragua,<p>

OHAI.

...kthxkoolbai.

LOVE,  
>-The United States of America <em>Alfred F. Jones<em>

P.S. Unless you act nicer, Ima respond like the 'bastard' you think I am~. But you know, there's probably a chance that you WON'T send a letter back, so does it really matter? And yes, you ARE crazy, man.

* * *

><p>Fat-ass,<p>

You don't need to write in all capital-letters to make a point, you know. They make my eyes bleed; I can almost *hear* your voice when I read your handwriting, and replying in all-caps does not help.

But I suppose I should at least *try* and be civil to you, since your president just visited us. Hence why I'm writing; my boss suggested it, since yours described the US-UK relationship as 'essential' and apparently, if we're friends, the world will be happiness and rainbows.

...sure.

England

* * *

><p>Unicorn-Lover,<p>

I THINK I MIGHT JUST SEND LETTERS BACK TO YOU LIKE THIS FROM NOW ON. YOU KNOW, BECAUSE I THINK THAT MAYBE SEEING YOUR EYES BLEED WOULD BE FUNNY. I'VE NEVER SEEN IT HAPPEN BEFORE, SO. YEAH. AND WHO wouldn't WANT TO HEAR MY LOVELY VOICE~?

...

...God, my boss is such a jackass sometimes...

good guy...

But...why would US-UK relations be IMPORTANT?

And dude, I seriously think that only you'd describe it as 'happiness and rainbows'. wth? Say something like 'more peaceful'.

Were you talking to your 'friends' while writing this? ...

...man.

-USA _Alfred 'Fat-ass am I Not' Jones_

* * *

><p><strong>So...very...tired...I've had a long day today and I've only gotten, like, four hours of sleep. So I ...<em>really <em>might be a little...off. O.o idk. x.x I'm acting delusional right now. Not good. I'm even worrying about America calling his boss a jackass. xD I don't know if he'd actually do it or something so I'm kinda freaking out. Stupid lack of sleep affecting my brain...thoughts... Now I'm worrying if I'm spelling affect right. Is it affect of effect? I forgot...again...Everyone keeps telling me what it is but I can never remember. :T**

**Anyways. xD**

**I decided to keep it one chapter this time. Cool~. But I'm pretty sure there's going to be a few mistakes...just ignore them please~... Also...review reply things...I'm always gonna put it here for the people that say things that don't involve the letters. And right now, I'm going to assume that the people I'm talking to know who I'm talking to. xD **

**So, yeh. It is good that at least Costa Rica likes America. xD And...you know what? Nicaragua reminds me a bit of Romano. o_o There a reason for that or is it just because she hates America and it's totally unimplied? xD **

**Maybe England wouldn't be so...bitter if he didn't drink tea all the time. 8D idk, I've tried it before and I didn't like it so...yeah. xD And thanks~ ...I think? O.O xD**

**And to no one in particular...I think I'm getting insane with these chapter titles...**


	5. Six Totally Heroic Letters

**Little warning: My mind's kinda scrambled so something America said might contradict something else. I don't know for sure, though~**

* * *

><p>Uncle Al,<p>

Oh HO, we're playing the number game now, are we?

1: I can always send more. Or a batch of moose steaks. I totally eat awesome stuff up here, dude.

2: You kidding? My orcas would be so badass! They're called KILLER whales for a reason, Uncle Al. Duh. Obviously, because they're cold-blooded killers... or something.

3: Ahahaha. I think I'm making Dad feel old acting like you. Not to mention Uncle Iggy HATES it. Don't get me wrong. I love him to bits. (I must, otherwise I'd thin out my eyebrows way more often.) He's just so frumpy about the way I act all the time. "Lyra, don't slouch. Eat healthier. Stop playing all those video games. I brought a few dresses over so you can dress like a lady. I cannot believe how much you act like that wanker, America!" Blah blah blah...

4: Keep telling yourself that Uncle Al. I'll beat you so hard, you'll probably cry like a girl.

5: WICKED! You are AWESOME, Uncle Al! McDonalds for a month? Deal! GOD DAMN. You are SO COOL.

Seriously. You're my HERO, man.

And the tattoo's going between my shoulderblades. Dad's never going to see me topless. Pff.

Shit, wait. If you stick around while I'm getting my tattoo, YOU'LL see me topless... Oh well. Whatevs.

Lots and lots of love for my HEROIC uncle,

Lyra.

* * *

><p>BC,<p>

1. DAMN STRAIGHT I'M HEROIC. 'Bout time someone realizes it. Been saying it for forever, dude.

2. ...I'm thinkin' that you should just send the fish again, yo.

3. I don't think killer whales are actually 'killer' whales. idk, I heard somewhere that they're just called that because they kill other sea animals for food or something. But anyways, shouldn't YOU know this, Lyr?

5. England's just jealous because he's the only one who can't handle my amazing heroicness. And he's trying to bring you down with him. Don't give in BC, I don't care if you love your Uncle Iggy, I'm better! Of course you know that. It's why you still hang out with me, right? Right.

6. You're gonna be the one crying like a girl when you lose. But you ARE a girl, so maybe crying like a...dieing cat? I'd say guy, but guys don't cry. 'Specially me. Yo.

7. It's kinda gross when you think about it, but I AM going to be there when you get that tattoo. Besides the dude that's gonna be givin' you one has to see you like that too. And I don't want him trying anything so I'll be there to kick his ass with my epicness if he tries anything.

Love,  
>-Epic Uncle Al<p>

P.S. Hope you noticed that I skipped number four. If you didn't that I'd be kind of DISAPPOINTED, Lyr. Not really, but...yeh. If ya wanna shoot back with numbers, expect some tricks.

* * *

><p>to: the United States of America<p>

Greetings. I hope you have been well. I have just ended my General Elections with what many would have said as surprising results. Despite this surprising change, I believe that we would still maintain beneficial ties with each other. I do not believe that this slight change would affect our relations in any way and that we would continue to be able to smoothen out any future problems.

Until our next arranged meeting,

Republic of Singapore.

Ps, Perhaps we could have other exchanges. The cultural exchange at Ang Huai Yang School in Korat was quite gratifying, I admit.

* * *

><p>Singapore,<p>

No need to be so formal, yo! These letters are supposed to be more personal than business-related, ya know. Otherwise,

it'd be bombin' my thinking patterns.

I've already got some stuff to do, and I'm finally starting to get it done even though there's still a lot to do, but it's finally starting to wrap up.

Even though, I've STILL got to take care of stuff after that. Lots of things have been happening here lately.

Aaanyways,

YES. That cultural exchange went awesomely well. It'd be good to do more. Ya think Thailand would like that too? Of course. Because I'm the hero.

-America _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p>Hi Daddy!<p>

I really miss hanging out with you. I mean I know we've hung out pretty often before, but still. Things are so turbulent, you know? Our ex-governator's, like, having affairs with one of his maids and his bastard-son looks uber creepy... I know you say I should be more respectful but YOU take a look at him and tell me he's seriously not... interesting-looking?

Also, my taxes are going up like there's no tomorrow and my education system's, like, the worst in the country! . I don't remember the last time I've had a decent teacher and a decent grade! And... and... I really just want to go to the beach and sing Katy Perry songs, you know? When is this nightmare going to be over? Please help me Daddy. *puppy dog pout* You are a super special awesome dad who doesn't get enough credit for the work he does and I totally want to be like you when I grow up. :D :D :D

...Can I, like, get a raise on my allowance now BTW?

Sincerely,

Your Daughter, Kelly Destiny Jones. AKA California

* * *

><p>Calli,<p>

HAHA, nice try. I admire the admiring, but no. You're awesome, but no raise, sorry. And I'll help, I promise. Why would I not? I'm the hero, you know it.

And I don't see why you can't go to the beach and listen to your songs every once in a while. I know I wouldn't be able to do it. Too busy.

Just make sure you do what you need to do. Like I'm making sure that you're making sure that you do what you need to do which is something that makes things a whole lot better.

And by the 'ex-governator', you mean, Arnold 'Can't-spell-his-last-name' guy? You know...like,

I'LL BE BOCK

guy?

Him? Yeh...I heard about that...Kinda creepy...

And, "If you've got nothing nice to say, don't say it at all". Remember that, Kelly Destiny Jones. Haven't you ever watched Bambi? Pffft...

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. I know you miss hanging out with me. Everyone does, yo. And we're having a reunion with your brothers and sisters in a few weeks, so you'll see me then, 'kay?

* * *

><p>Dear paps,<p>

Wazzap? Haven't heard from you in a while. Those higher-ups piling the work up on you again?

Over here it's been kinda talkative ever since the oil spill not too long ago. Thank the Lord it stopped when it did. Shit was gettin pretty damn close to my vital regions for comfort. Figured France might be controllin it or somethin, 'cuz that was friggin scary.

Other than that, nothin much has been goin on, except I found out something. Turns out Imma girl. All these years Florida pulled me aside one day and told me. It's like frick, who knew? Oh well, doesn't change much anyway; skirts and dresses are a little too breezy, though. I'll stick to pants and shorts.

Terrah A. Jones (Texas)

P.S. I got better at makin my version of Mexican food. You oughta come visit and try it some time, yeah? Right now it's hotter than hell, but you'll get a nice tan.

* * *

><p>Ter,<p>

...How could you not know you were a girl? I mean...How could you NOT KNOW YOU WERE A GIRL?

...Anyways...

Yeah, the boss has been given me some more work than usual. It's all helping the planet, though, so it's all good. And I want to help (kind of. It's messin' up with my freetime). The other nations don't want me to. But I'm gonna do it anyways. In a totally ninja-like way. Besides, then they'll realize that I AM the hero!

And I think I'm gonna have to talk to France about scaring you, your brothers and sisters, and just about everyone else. Seriously.

Doubt he's the reason for the oil spill, though. Pretty sure you knew that.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. If it's warm there, I don't mind. At all. Seriously. I love the sun. And the warmth. Hate the cold. And I'll totally try the food. It better be far out. Maybe your place should be where that reunion's gonna be at. Did Nina tell you about that? I figured that that would be better than you and your brothers and sisters seperately.

P.P.S. OH. Right. Forgot to tell ya. Lorenzo (I'm sure you know him) is kinda asking that you lay off of him everytime you talk to Calli. You can do that, right?

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear papa,<p>

You're forgetting I was the last to secede from the union in the civil war...How could you NOT want a giant Indiana Jones gaurding the earth!They do need to loosen up. Furthermore,

Nice poem papa,

My food is the best of all,

And you know it.

That was almost a haiku...I checked.

Love,

Nina-Claire

* * *

><p>Aaaw. Nice almost-haiku, Nina.<p>

And boss and the other people just don't understand. They need to ge that st-

Eh...Haha.

nvm...

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. Boss-man just said I could get a break from the work for about two weeks next week! It's far out, and totally bombin'! Now I'll be able to see you and the others THEN, right?

* * *

><p>Dear papa,<p>

Hey,it's Alice! You know,your 32nd daughter,the one with the blueberries? I know you're busy,mostly because of everything you stick your nose in,but you never come to visit me.

Love,Alice. R. Jones AKA Maine,

* * *

><p>Ali,<p>

I know my kids, Ali. Duuuh. And yeah, I've been busy and stuff, but it's a good cause.

And shhh.

No one knows that I'm actually helping them...Secretly-

Secret help shall remain secret...

And did Nina NOT tell you about the reunion, yet? Pffft. I'm pretty sure that if you ask her, she'll tell you about it.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p><strong>This is SO not all the letters that were sent in, I know. 8D But I got so many that I'm gonna split it into 3 chapters...I'm just not done with those others yet. xD I wanted to upload them one at a time and not all bunched up together. Chapters, I mean.<strong>

**But it's so weird...I upload the 4th one, then I go to bed and then I wake up the next day to find that I got, like, over 10 reviews. :D It was so awesome. But then I realized that that's gonna be a lot of work...But I don't mind. It gives me something to do. Even though I keep procastinating on it~... Also, I think I'm still out of it from yesterday. I might be getting sick. Crap. **

**Oh. AAAnd.**

**To the one who writes for North Carolina: thx~ :D I really appreciate that. x3  
>Insane (I'm too lazy to write the rest of it 8D) : I'm not sure if this is something to really reply to ('cause it kinda sounded like you were talking to yourself XD) , but I don't think anyone's really gonna get offended. :D Just so you know... I guess. xD<strong>


	6. Just Know That They're Heroic Letters

Hola America~

You're not sleeping? That's not good! You can come over to my house if you want!

Dude, si... you were a complete douche. Especially to Nicaragua. That may be why she hates you... you DID embargo her in the 1980's. But at least she isn't like Cuba who threatened to send bombs back you way, si?

...don't even mention Inglaterra...

Pfft, ME? Control NICARAGUA? That's like asking Belarus to stop stalking Russia or for Russia to stop acting creepy... TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE. she's a lot stronger than me and even I can admit that. Plus she actuallly is bipolar...

I know~ that's one thing I have over Nicaragua. I actually USE my environment for tourism. Maybe her economy wouldn't be in the crapper if she actually listened to my ideas for once.

Costa Rica (Francisco Salas)

P.S. I'm a dude, Alfred. why else would my human name be Francisco...

* * *

><p>Cisco,<p>

Thanks for the offer, but I'm fine, dude. I'm almost done (kind of) so I'll catch up on some sleep later.

Anyways...-

...Yeh.

...

...So your sister's seriously bipolar? She just seems really crazy to me. Never really seen her nice side. Only, like, once, man.

Once.

ONCE.

ONE FREAKIN' TIME.

That's it. No more. Pffft.

And yeah, maybe her economy WOULD be better if she listened. Maybe.

-America _Alfred 'Ffff...Can't think of More Weird Middle Names' Jones_

P.S. I don't know...I met a girl once named Francisco...It was crazy.

* * *

><p>America,<p>

I'm...Sorry. there I said it. And I'm NOT crazy. If anyone's crazy, it's Belize, who talks to the air and makes horrible food. He was raised by Inglaterra...

Anyway, my boss thinks I should connect more with other countries, and sadly, you were one of them. And once again, I'm not crazy. I'm bipolar. There's a difference. You meddle way too much in my life, you know that, right?

Nicaragua (Luisa Rodriguez)

P.S. my boss is making me write to you more, so lo siento, but you're still gonna have to deal with me.

* * *

><p>Nicaragua,<p>

OH LOOK...it's your nicer side...

Kind of.

...Pffft. It'd be even nicer, if you didn't mention England in your letter, though. I already have to write to him (I can see his letter sticking out in the pile I have right from where I'm at) and having to see him mentioned makes me feel...irritated. I usually don't feel that way, so it's probably just lack of sleep and stuff.

Too much work.

And I meddle in everyones life, so don't feel flattered~.

-America _Alfred 'Fuck Yeah! I'm awesome!' Jones_

P.S. FFFFUUUU-

* * *

><p>Dear America,<p>

First of all, I'd like to say I LOVE YOU! I am proud to be one of your citizens, so keep being your awesome cute heroic self!

Second, what are your opinions on this year's upcoming presidential elections? I know Obama's running again, but I don't know which Republican would run against him.

That Gaddafi guy needs to go. I've heard that not even Russia wants him in Libya, and that says something. I wish NATO would hurry up and boot him out already.

Congratulations on killing Osama bin Laden. I know it's old news, but I'm still glad that prick got what karma owed him. ^-^

I think that's all for now.

Sincerely,

Angi

* * *

><p>Angi,<p>

Well!

FIRST. Thank you, Angi. I'm glad you're proud to be one of out of the many AWESOME citizens I have! Thanks!

And I don't really have an opinion. Well, I actually do, of course, but that's really something for the boss-man and the others to deal with, ya know? Politics is something I guess we really need for this country here to remain...

FREE.

I just hope that the elections don't bring up tension. I usually worry about that everytime that comes up. My citizens DO get pretty diverse when it comes to opinions.

And yeh, the guy does need to go.

Freakin' Russia...neh.

And thanks again, I guess. But just because he's gone, it doesn't necessarily mean that the war's over. It kind of is, but there's still some... cleaning up to do, I guess. Can't really explain it clearly.

It's pretty awesome that you actually know about this stuff! Some of my citizens don't even bother to read or watch the news. I kind of wouldn't too...

But I'm the hero and I'm always informed of what's going on!

-USA _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p>Dear ... Dad,<p>

It always feels weird whenever I say that... I'm Michigan, and YOU BETTER HAVE NOT FORGOTTEN ME LIKE YOU FORGET UNCLE MATT! ...

Seriously, why does everyone forget me?

... not my point of this letter... Hi...

Alicia Jones, Michigan

* * *

><p>Licia,<p>

Hey! It shouldn't feel weird! I'm your dad, and I remember you just like I remember my bro. I don't forget him either.

...

I DON'T.

And if you speak up, I'm sure more people will notice you, yo. Maybe.

Oh...'hi' right back at ya. ^_^

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Hi Dad!<p>

Wisconsin here. It's awesome that you're writing letters, too. I know some of us states have been for a little while.

What's this I hear about a family reunion? That sound's pretty fun.

Your awesome daughter,

Ella A. Beilschmidt (Wisconsin)

* * *

><p>El,<p>

I HAVE heard that some of you've been sending letters. It's awesome!

Well I guess it's just super bombin' that I could start this far out stuff too!

And has Nina told you about it yet? I'm planning on all of us reunioning...or whatever...soon! So that way I can see you guys all in the same place again.

Don't exactly know when, though.

Maybe on my birthday?

That'd be AWESOME, YO! It'd blow everyone's mind. Only thing bad about it is that it's, like, a month away. Aw. And I'd also have to ask boss to change dates and stuff for my next break...

Love,  
>Your Awesome Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear América,<p>

Olá ~! How are you doing? I hope you're doing well. Well, it looks like you're doing well from how exuberant the tone of your letter comes off as. Ha ha~

Anyways, I have a small question for you. WHY THE HELL DO 60% OF AMERICANS THINK I AM A PROVINCE OF SPAIN? I get it, he and I are siblings and both located on the Iberian Peninsula. Desculpe, I just get irritated by that.

Well, I hope you have a wonderful day. Adeus.

Sincerely,

Portugal (Silvia Dias)

* * *

><p>Portugal,<p>

Heya! Yeah, I AM doing well. I guess it's pretty obvious, dude. Didn't notice before, you know? It's just the way I always act.

But that's totally a good thing.

And I seriously don't know why my citizens think that, man...You know, at least, you know, at least the OTHER 40% know what you are.

Better that than nothing.

And I'm right on that.

Because I'm the hero.

The hero's always right.

And it's alright. If I got mistaken for a province, I'd get pretty ticked off too.

And hey! Hero says you have a wonderful day too, yo.

Aren't I just so epic?

-United States of America _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p>Dear Dad,<p>

It's me. Your daughter... Arizona. How's it goin? Utah told me I had to write to you... You know how "persuasive" she can be.

With Love,

Sophia Mia Garcia-Jones

Arizona

* * *

><p>Soph,<p>

Hi, Sophia! I'm doing good. I've been getting TONS of letters from other nations, and your brothers and sisters, yo. I'm still not even done with the list. How are you?

And...how come you didn't take the time to write to me without being told to by your sister?

...Am I horrible dad? ...

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. Seriously, though, am I...?

* * *

><p>Dear Daddy,<p>

Will you tell North Dakota to stop being such a jerkwad. He keeps trying to say that his states is bigger in size and population then mine, just because he's taller then me, and that's only because he's like five days older then me.

Love,

Montana AKA Melora R. Jones

* * *

><p>Mel,<p>

ND's just a bit...

idk, ...He's a bit...

I can't describe him. But just know that ND's just himself and that no matter what he's gonna do it's always gonna end up with him acting like a 'jerkwad' towards you.

A lot of you guys act that way, actually.

Haha! I'm not saying you guys are jerkwads. I'm just saying...

. . .

Yeh, I think you know what I mean, yo.

But anyways, yeah I'll tell him.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear McDumb,<p>

hi! it's me Connecticut! ( you remember me right?... the one that invented the hamburgers?)

anyways, how come one of my cities is on the top ten most dangerous cities in the country? My cities won' t go commie bastard styled!

Also, beware cuz Iggy is drunk again in one of my pubs- I mean bars..

please don't forget me! I'm not vermont either!

Paula Williams-Kirkland-Bonneyfoy-Jones

The State of Connecticut

P.S. um, why is commie bastard at my house? O.o

* * *

><p>PAAAAula,<p>

Tis not nice to call your dad names~. You shouldn't be doing it. Only if they're NICE, really.

NICE names.

NICE, AWESOME, EPIC

_HEROIC_

names.

And why is England at your bars? Why'd you almost call it a pub? Why? Why, WHY, _WHY, __**WHY-**_

_**WHY THE HELL IS COMMIE-DOUCHE AT YOUR HOUSE? !**_

You're not lying to me, are you? I'll kick his ass out if you want me to. I'll go there even if Boss says NO! I don't like him!

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. I know you're not Vermont. You're Connecticut! And about the city thing- I'll help make it better, I PROMISE!

* * *

><p><strong>Alfred's gunna SNAP, HE'S GONNA SNAP, GONNA SNAP-!<strong>

**:D Sorry, I'm listening to Slipknot right now. xD Crazy stuff. But seriously. He's gonna snap. I figured he would (but then again, I'm not REALLY, America...or am I? O.o) because...okay, I'll be honest, I don't actually read or watch the news that much. . Had to do some research. So I might be a bit off. **

**I figured he'd just snap, you know, _just a bit_, from all the work and stuff going on. idk. I could be REALLY off. I just wanted to do things a bit my way. Mistake~. :D **

**But...who knows? Maybe I'm right and while I'm sleeping tonight, England gets attacked in some way, shape or form by America. Be it by words or a really tiny mini-nuke. xD**

**Ooops~. I meant Russia.**

**...**

**No, I mean both.**

**evemiliana: Hm~...Wow, you learn something new everyday, huh...? xD ~mainly that was kinda just a rhetorical question. xD didn't know if you knew because someone I know has gotten confused like that before o_o~**

**Sorairo: T-T Is it bad that I didn't even know where Portugal even existed until less than a year ago? I didn't even have a chance of thinking that Portugal was a province of Spain. -_-' I actually barely even knew the world map (I only really knew about North America) all that much until about a year ago, too...Sad. **


	7. More Heroic Letters

HEY DAD.

It's the most successful of the Oregon Territory gang: Washington!

It' really annoying when you confuse me with Oregon... he's nice and all (not really, he's a jerkwad sometimes) but we don't even look the same. He's older than me, and meaner, and less mainstream. Actually, scratch that. I AM THE LEAST MAINSTREAM HERE, BRO.

Anyway, remember to send me some love because I made Microsoft, Starbucks and I coated the entire world in ash when St. Helen's exploded (that was scary!).

Love and all that,

Alexander

* * *

><p>Alex,<p>

I'm starting to think that I confuse all of you with each other. You know...you and your brothers and sisters.

It's funny, though because I CANNOT remember doing it! I mean, I remember you guys, of course. Just not the mixing up parts.

I have NO recollection of that stuff.

But I know that you guys are always insulting each other. Don't know where you got it from. Maybe it's cause you're all kind of...idk, diverse?

And how 'bout you just come to the reunion that's being planned, yo? Much easier to give you a hug or something there.

Hahaha! We can all get together and have a group hug!

Hahahaha! That'd be pretty interesting.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear uncle Alfred,<p>

Yes it would be nice of you to do such a kind thing, after all didn't he raise you for such a long time, go to war with Spain to keep you safe? And what of your own things that people say are real, yet others don't? such as the jersey devil, the moth man and many others?

And please? Van-Chan? it seems a bit too close to Mr. Switzerland's name, if you must give me a nickname i suppose...Sa-san, would suit me well.

And celebrate your birthday by all means, but perhaps try something small and privyte with only a few people? or plot birthday part with mattie and share it with him on July 2nd?

Amd maybe a card to Father, something asking to "thank you for raising me to be the nation i am today"? just think how you would have turned out if FRANCE had been the one to rasie you.

with regards,

Savannah Kirkland

* * *

><p>SA-CHAN,<p>

CALL ME UNCLE _AL. __**AL**__. AAAALLL. _Till you do, I'm call you Sa-chan instead. I already stooped from Van-chan (because, you're kinda right, it DOES sound like the dudes name).

And those things are totally real! Jeez...Besides, they're not magical being things that I 'talk' to on a daily basis, yo.

...Birthday? Small. Few people?

AND NOT ON MY ACTUAL BIRTHDAY?

What? D;

That's not cool...but I'll do it. Don't want to...

But I'll do it. And I might get him a card...depends on the letter he sent me.

If it isn't nice, he isn't getting one.

-UNCLE AL, NOT UNCLE ALFRED

P.S. Savannah. 'If'-ing on if France raised me? Bro's scary, yo! Why'd you have to bring THAT up? D: Cooking would have been better...but still!

* * *

><p>Hello, Dad!<p>

It's me, Oklahoma!

I keep getting tornadoes. So do Texas, Kansas, Missouri, and Alabama... It's getting scary out here!

Stay safe where you are!

Love, your son,

Norman S. Jones

* * *

><p>Norm,<p>

I KNOW you're getting tornadoes. I'm actually worried as hell about you guys and the citizens...

All this stuff is going on...

EH, it's HECTIC.

And don't worry about me, I'm completely SAFE where I am, yo.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear Alfred,<p>

You SURE? Because that's also about the eighth time you've said that.

WHUT? AMERICA... actually DOING something for the enviroment? :O

Ay naku,what the hell happened?

... Haha,I joke,just kidding. :P I think it's great that you're helping the ozone layer. But why are you cramped inside?

Philippines

P.S. Um,I think I got that figured out when his bullet got THIS close to my face for the umpteenth time. And uhh,yeah,totally amazing...

P.P.S HOLY SHIT TEXAS IS A GIRL. Dammit...

*shaky handwriting near the end*

* * *

><p>Lorenzo,<p>

YES, I'm sure. Jeez, yo.

And HEY, I'll help out the environment ALL THE TIME, man. And I'm cramped inside because of plans...that I'm making.

You'll hear about it soon. Don't worry.

It's just...a secret.

-America _Alfred F. Jones_

P.S. ...Dude...

P.P.S. Yeah. Haha, you're kinda more screwed than you were before, aren't you? Hahaha!

* * *

><p>Future Diabetic,<p>

Seeing *you* die a slow, painful death from too much sugar intake (and all that disgusting grease you call 'hamburgers' that you consume) would be funny. Git. No one wants to hear your voice. Why do you think no one likes you, you living blubber ball?

I happen to like your boss.

I just think YOU'RE the jackass.

I don't know... -mumbles something about the Revolutionary War- But we have our own Wikipedia page, which I find slightly disturbing. However, since being friends with you benefits my people, I suppose I can put up with your fat self.

I simply put it into terms someone as daft as you would understand. Because if I quoted your boss, I'm positive you wouldn't understand half of the words.

B-belt up, you wanker! You're friends with an alien, which is certainly all in your head because they're not real.

And would you be more proper as to actually write out things, and not lazily abbreviating them as you would in a text message? You're a nation and are already seen as being a complete idiot. Set a better example.

England

* * *

><p>I'M NOT GONNA EVEN BOTHER WITH AN INSULT, MR. I'VE-GOT-A-STICK-SHOVED-WAY-TOO-FAR-UP-MY-F*CKING-*SS!<p>

YOU'RE NOT GETTING A CARD!

-America

P.S. I DON'T WANNA send anymore letters to you! I didn't even read the last part of the stupid letter! I'M HAVING PROBLEMS, YOU ASS, BE CONSIDERATE TO MY MEAN-NESS AND STUFF! I'M HAVING PROBLEMS!

P.P.S. I'll use ABBREVIATIONS wheneverth I WANT!

P.P.P.S I'll still write letters to you. Just don't be so mean. And I can't erase anything above because it's all in pen. Can't scratch it out either, really. And I don't feel like getting a new piece of paper, so whatever. And sorry. I snapped. Never done it before, it won't happen again.

* * *

><p>Oy, Amerika!<p>

Is that Florida in your pants or are you just happy to see me? Kesesese~!

Wie gehts? It's the awesome me! But of course you already knew that.

So I decided to grace your presence with my awesomeness 'cause I heard you were down in the dumps. What better way to get well than see ME? Granted, you're not actually seeing me, but my handwriting should be enough to get you better. Plus Gilbird, who delivered this letter to you.

So Amerika, HEAL THYSELF!

...you feel amazing now, amirite?

-Preußen

* * *

><p>Prussia,<p>

HAHA. Funny, man, funny.

I'm good. I could be better, but England's an ass, so I'm not.

And hey, thanks for 'gracing me with your presense', man. Also...

DUDE.

Your handwriting is total chicken-scratch.

I think Gilbird (who's now just sitting here, watching me write this letter [which is kinda creepy, man]) might even have better handwriting than you.

Seriously.

But thanks. I'm actually feeling pretty well.

But no, nowhere close to amazing right now, dude. -_-'

Send me a gift card to McDonalds, maybe then.

-America _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p><strong>Told ya he was gonna snap~. Maybe that was just a bit too much, though? I'm thinking of seriously changing it. Too much American-snappage. I might just change it, but knowing what this fic is really based upon...well, that's kind of impossible, now isn't it? xD<strong>

**But I wonder if this is really of any importance or anything ****...Do any of you really read through the whole thing like a regular story? O.o I wouldn't know, but I'm guessing that some of you do. xD**

**Ru Tsuna: Weird...I never noticed that...O.O And I've been to California. O.o Oh, and thanks for the little translation thing...I was kinda confused when I first read the letter...I was kinda like "Wait...What does THAT mean? D:". So, yeah. xD Thanks.**

**atra (Your username's too long to actually type out for me. xD): v.v Mhm~. And, you know, England is usually the one to go off on America, right? D'ya think England's gonna be more bitter now? Kinda~ hope not. XD **

**Person writing as Prussia: 1. I kind of figured. Almost. v.v And 2. Yeah...it's obvious. xD**

**Anyways~ I'm starting to notice I put a lot of squiggly letter-things when I'm typing. Don't know why I do that. Also, I only really put the letters in here that we for chapter 4...(well, duh. But after I uploaded that one other chapter earlier today I got more reviews~) and chapter 5 letters will be next time along with all the other ones I think I'm gonna get. x3 **

**And mistakes. I NEED TO FIX THEM. And I will...tomorrow. For now I'll kinda deal with the embarrassment of grammatical errors. -hides in a hole- Bye for now~ **


	8. Heroic Letters

to: the United States of America,

I apologise, I seem to have mistook the context of this letter session. I did not know it was for informal letters only. Do pardon me on that note.

...'bombin' my thinking patterns'..? I'm afaid I do not understand you. Could you please rephrase that?

I am pretty sure Thailand would not mind. We were helping him out on that occasion, so he should have been satisfies with the results. Benefits are benefits and that should be what matters yes?

Though it seems that I am still talking on the context of work.. Excuse me for that, I shall stop now.

Until our next arranged meeting,

Republic of Singapore

* * *

><p>Hey,<p>

It's alright! Haha, the hero forgives you, 'kay?

Oh! Wait, how could you NOT understand what I said? Bombin' my thinking patterns means messing up my way of thinking. You know?

Yeah, I thought everyone knew what I meant by that...

Eh.

And Thailand BETTER not mind! Pffft...

Thailand...

Anyways, yeah, that's what does matter! If only other people could understand that, yo.

-America _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p>Evening love,<p>

I'm Liverpool, one of Uncle Arthur's cities. I was only wondering that if you could make it to Beatles week this August. Trust me it will be a lot of fun and I remember that me band had nearly every bird in your country screaming. FYI bird is British slang for girls. Anyway if you are going to bring food I'm sorry but it will only be vegetarian foods since I'm vegetarian like Paul is. Besides, it will be good for you since I heard your boss's wife is concerned with obesity. I feel maybe it's a good thing to be a role model and show them that eating more fruits and vegetables is better for your body. Well, don't freak out you don't have to stop eating burgers and stuff for good. Just eat them in moderation like some people I know. I mean after all your boss's wife does admit she loves fries but says that you need to balance it out with healthy foods later on. Aside from that I can cook most veg meals that will still be tasty since I learned to cook from Paul's wife Linda. Need I say its better than what me uncle makes. Anyway I hope you can make it to me city and the others will be there too.

Peace and love,

Patricia "Pattie" Kirkland

City of Liverpool

P.S. Tell you kid New York thank you for the Strawberry fields memorial for John. And tell California the same for me personal favorite Beatle George.

* * *

><p>Pattie,<p>

Sure, I'll come! That is, if I don't have anything going on during that time.

But just vegatables...? That's...

...

gross.

Seriously.

I think I'm going to just eat fruits, then. At least THEY taste sweet, ya know? Yeah. But I GUESS eating healthy (still gonna eat McDonalds, though. No one can stop me from that.) would be a good thing for the hero to do!

And...

are you SURE you can cook...?

-America _Alfred F. Jones_

P.S. Will do!

* * *

><p>America,<p>

Hi, it`s me, Cambodia. Could you not bring a scary movie every time you come? It gets annoying how much you cling to me. I think Laos saw you do that once. He avoided me for a week until I finally caught him and explained it. He looked relieved and happy. Does that mean he likes me? I-I mean, not that I care or anything. So, how are you and Japan? Did he give you another horror film? He needs to stop doing that. You brought The Ring, The Grudge, The Saw series, and Let Me In already. Please bring a normal movie next time. You need to stop scaring yourself. Please, Alfred.

Your Friend,

Cambodia, Chenda Noung

* * *

><p>Chenda,<p>

Aaaaw...

But the next time I was gonna see you in the near future (whenever I got around to it) I was gonna bring that...uh...AHEM, that ONE movie...the...

...The Strangers next! You...uh...know, the movie with the people that...-FREAKIN' DECIDE TO KILL THE POEPLE INSIDE THAT ONE CABIN AND THEN THEY JUST...DIIIE-

Totally just stalk the people inside?

And...wait...who's Laos?

...Should I know him?

-America _Alfred F. Jones_

P.S. And I haven't seen Japan in forever, yo. Work's been keeping me from seeing my total BFF. Plus...eh...But hey, we're both good! Great!

P.P.S. And I don't get scared when I watch those movies! ...I'm the HERO!

* * *

><p>Daddy,<p>

Aw no fair! I was SO hoping flattery would, like, finally work for me. Oh well. I still love you Dad. ^^

And well, see, that's the thing. I may not be as busy as you but even if I DO have time to, like, go to the beach it's not the same anymore. Too much crap to think about what with me being in the bunker. It's not fair Dad. How did I go from, like, being awesomest state to poorest state? T_T You still love me no matter how broke and unedumacated I am… right?

I promise to keep working hard though. Otherwise I would be much more un-awesome than I already feel. :(

Yes, "Ahnold" Schwarzenegger I believe is how his name's spelled. And what does me bashing the dude and his son have anything to do with Bambi? That movie ALMOST made me cry. I say almost because I'm a heroine and heroines don't cry! *strikes awesome pose* See? I've learned so much from you!

Hugs and Kisses!

~California * Kelly Destiny Jones

P.S. OMG A reunion, really? Finally! I've got quite a few things to tell New York about….

P.P.S. Lorenzo's been hanging out with me a lot lately and Texas keeps chasing him away for some reason… I don't know what that really means though. I thought I should bring it up cuz it's, like, weirding me out.

* * *

><p>Calli,<p>

Of COURSE I love you despite all that stuff. Duuuh, Calli! Just...gotta wait until things get better, yo!

And you're totally awesome, Kel! You're MY kid! Raised under the EPICEST, MOST HEROIC COUNTRY

EVAR.

Anyways, is that really how his name's spelled?

Huh.

Arnold.

Ahnold.

Ahnold fits better...

Ahnold Shwaaarseneger...

Arnold Schwarzenegger...

Hm. Oh well.

And THAT has A LOT to do with Bambi! Bambi teaches you things!

One would be to never be in a forest when it's on fire. I'm pretty sure you already knew that, though.

And that's AWESOME! I'm glad you're actually listening to me~.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. ...Like what things?

P.P.S. Oh, don't worry about that. Lorenzo's just being a wimp. Maybe you'll figure it out soon enough. And Texas...well, yeah.

* * *

><p>Howdy again,<p>

Good question. Just sorta never really thought about it I guess, haha. Hey, didn't some country in Europe have the same thing happen to her? Hung... hunger... damn, I forgot. We don't have the best geography classes over here...

I guess the environment is a good reason, but still... No freetime? None? Be you'd have free time if you didn't have all these letters to reply to. Sorry 'bout that, it's just... we haven't seen you in awhile. Well anyway! Gettin a little too mushy. There isn't any liquid on the letter you're holding, is there? If there is, it's… just some water.

And haha, HELLZ YEEEAH! Git 'er duuun, we'll all be cheerin' you on, ninja-paps! XD

Louisiana doesn't seem to have a problem with him, I've seen. Maybe she can convince him to back off...? Might work. Cuz haven't you and the rest of the world already told him time and time again?

Yeah, I know he didn't do it. Couldn't help but make the joke, though, ya know?

See ya'll soon!

Terra A. Jones (Texas)

P.S. Ya sure? I do agree with the cold thing, sweat is beter than frostbite. I wouldn'ta told you if it wasn't far out ;) What? No, she didn't tell me, but HELL TO THE YEAH! And alright, my place'd work out, since it's pretty big. Just recently got a bigass flatscreen in the living room for watchin the game on Sundays. I'll call up everybody an' tell 'em, if you wouldn't mind bein' the one askin the northern states, maybe? I don't really enjoy bein called a country bumpkin by 'em. Please?

P.P.S. Huh? Ugh, that puta. I gotta good reason for it, though! I'm not likin the way he looks at her all the time. Gotta protect my sis! Not to mention the bastard runs across MY lawn to get to her place. Like he's askin me to pop a cap in his puta culo! Prick doesn't know how hard it is to grow grass in my state.

* * *

><p>Ter,<p>

Hey, you mean Hungary? I remember her (...not really) because, you know...

Hungary = Hungry

And then I go and get McDonalds.

...Geography classes...? There's HISTORY classes...

And I think I explained this to someone else (not sure, can't remember) that the only freetime I have is to write letters. Which is why I kinda like dragging it out when it's that time of day to reply. Boss gets angry, though.

And Ter...Don't worry, I'll see you at the reunion! I SWEAR. We'll all have an awesome time hanging out as a family!

Oh, and thanks, Ter! I think I should be the...

Ninja-Hero!

from now on!

Nah, just hero. But I'm cool like a ninja. Although, Japan's the ninja, really...

Also...

Yeah. We have. But I don't want Louisiana going ANYWHERE near him, though.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. YEAH, I'm sure. And good. Far out food makes for a happy me. And ALRIGHT! ! Flatscreen tv's are so AWESOME. Reunion's definetly going to be at your place. Hope you can handle it. I'm sure you know how we all get...Especially in the same place at the same time...And SURE, I'll tell them.

P.P.S Watch your language, mi hija. Mija. Eh, whatever. I don't speak that much spanish. Pfft. And MAYBE, you could, idk, tell him NICELY, to...- Just don't shoot him, Ter. Be nice. Lorenzo's a cool dude.

* * *

><p>Hallo Amerika.<p>

It's us, West Berlin.

And East Berlin, or *coughKonigsberg!cough*.

WB: Anyway, we wanted to ask of DC would be interested in the capital party we were throwing.

EB: Yeah! It's gunna be awesome! We already invited a few other capitals, and we're waiting for DC to reply.

WB: But we're afraid it may have gotten lost or he Hightower be too busy.

EB: Anywho~Wir sehen uns! Stay Awesome!

WB: Auf Wiedersehen.

From the Berlin Twins,

Henrich 'West Berlin' & Fritzi 'East Berlin/Konigsberg' Beilschmidt

* * *

><p>Hey,<p>

I'll tell DC! Don't worry.

-United States of America _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p>Uncle Al,<p>

1: YOU'RE THE HEROIC-EST HERO THAT EVER HERO'D. 8D

2: You sure? I've got salmon, moose, deer, bear. Honest. If you wanna try some crazy wild animal, my place is the BEST place to do it.

3: So you're not completely dumb. xD Yeah. They're really called orca whales, but they've also been called Wolves of the Sea, Whale Killers and Devil Fish. Their scientific name, Orcinus orca comes from the Roman god of death, Orcus. The funny thing is, the name 'killer whale' came from pop culture and a 'Jaws'-like movie about an orca whale that went and ate people to get revenge on poachers for killing its buddy? That and Mama Haida's name for them, 'skana' which means 'killer demon' or 'killer fish'. Phew. There's your random fun fact for the day!

4: Uh. Can you count, Uncle Al...? I totally prefer chilling with you to hanging with Uncle Iggy, although he can totally be cool sometimes. I hear you two have been having issues. I'll bet he's totally pulling the schoolyard bully thing and only being mean because he secretly likes you. 8D I need him to stop trying to dress me up like a girly girl, though... I hate dresses...

5: Psh. Bring it, old man. There's no way you're beating me. And I'm way too manly to cry.

Yeah. I said manly.

6: Oh, whatever. It's not like I have anything you haven't seen before SOMEWHERE. And I'm practically flat anyway, which is dumb because apparently my tits represent the Rockies... And those mountains aren't small.

... ... ... What if it's a chick that does my tattoo? Like, some hot tattooed biker chick?

I might just be okay with that idea.

Looooooove,

Lyra!

PS. OH YOU MEANT TO DO THAT. I TAKE BACK THE DUMB COMMENT.

* * *

><p>Lyr,<p>

1. Thanks, but tell me something I DON'T know, 'kay? Haha!

2. ...You know what? I'll try all of it! I love food~.

3. More like factSSS, BC.

4. ...GRROOOOSSSSSS. And I don't think you're ever gonna get thru with the dresses. Unless you avoid him. But you actually LIKE the dude, so I don't think that's gonna happen.

5. Yeah, right. I'm going to beat you all the way to China. And then he'll kick you back here and I'll beat you at the game again.

6. Pfft...Whate-

Wait.

Lyra.

...

...nvm

Love,  
>Uncle Al<p>

P.S. ...Thanks, Lyr...

* * *

><p>Dad,<p>

Yep! These letters are a pretty nice way to keep in touch with everyone too, especially everyone in Europe.

I've heard a rumor floating around. I'm pretty excited, but I don't think we can do it on your birthday if every one's going to be there. Arizona said she's planning on going to visit Italy around then. You might want to check in with her.

I'm pretty much free, though, so just drop me a line whenever!

Love,

Ella

* * *

><p>El,<p>

Aw, why's she going to Italy? ...I think she DOES think I'm a horrible dad...

I'm gonna have to fix that. NAO.

And I'll make SURE to tell you when the date's set!

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p><strong>So many letters...so tired...Sorry for those who realized that I update this everyday and were possibly expecting this to be up yesterday or something. xD Sunday's my 'DO ABSOLUTELY NOTHING' day. So I took a break. Anyways...I don't really have anything to say...Well, I DID, but I forgot...<strong>

**Oh, no. I remember. Anything between these dash thingies: - **

**is intentionally there for the purpose of cleverly standing in place for the handy crossout tool thing. Document manager's just being a jerk. So what Alfred said about scary movies above...yeah, there's one part that's crossed out 'in pen' by him.**

**Anyways~.**

**Insane: Oh, thanks. xD I didn't think him snapping would be such a good idea. But I went with it anyways because I just felt like it. And that DID make sense. To me at least. xD Or...I THINK I'm getting what that's saying, but in reality, I'm only getting something completely different. Are you trying to say it kinda makes his...I dunno, 'character' more in depth? Kind of like that? Because that's kinda what I'm interpreting. xD It's also awesome that you read it like a story. Because it sort of feels weird if people don't...Because this IS on FF where writing stories is really the sole purpose.**

**Yukino: Yeah...I kinda knew what it meant already. xD Spanish is one of the languages I kind of know. I grew up around people who speak it all the time so it's only expected~. And yeah, that's a cool idea...you know, for the language thing. O.O Also, thanks. ^-^ Guess I AM the biggest critic to this, hm? I'm always finding something wrong with it in one way or another.**


	9. Lots of Heroic Letters

Hola America~

Well, okay. I just worry about you sometimes...

Si, Nicaragua was actually diagnosed as bipolar... it's probably because of all her civil wars and crap.

Ah, didn't you see her nice side in 1849 when you asked if the European immigrants could go through her country to get to California? Didn't she seem more "Sunshiney happy" back then?

She had a better economy than almost everyone here until the 1972 earthquake... then her dictator Somoza became even more of an ass and the economy went to shit... more reason why she's bipolar.

Costa Rica (Francisco Salas)

P.S. ...what the hell? Who would name their daughter Francisco? That is obviously a boy's name.

* * *

><p>Cisco,<p>

Well, hey, thanks for caring, bro! I'm perfectly fine, though.

Also, bipolar people are crazy. You know, with their mood switches and stuff? I'm just trying to prove a point here with your sister...

And yeah, that's what I meant by her nice side. Too bad she couldn't stay like that.

Anyways, dude...Why are we always talking about your sister in these letters? She's totally become the main topic.

-America _Alfred 'F YEAH, I Thought of Another Middle Name Thing!' Jones_

P.S. Yeah, I guess the parents didn't know that. But I'm telling the truth, I seriously met girl-Francisco at a McDonalds once.

* * *

><p>America,<p>

...nicer side? The fuck? No, this is my "I'm being forced to write to a person who I'd rather not associate with but my stupid boss is making me" side.

Where did I mention Inglaterra? I was talking about Belize.

I don't even LIKE Inglaterra! He's bipolar when it comes to Central America! One minute he's trying to invade me, and the next minute he's giving one of your men that caused horrible things in Central America for Honduras to kill!

Si, I know that. But it's because of your meddling that I'm bipolar! Was military occupation really necessary?

Nicaragua (Luisa Rodriguez)

P.S. whatever...douche

Nicaragua,

* * *

><p>I'll call it what I want. It's better than your "Eff YOU, you asshole, I'LL KILL YOUR DUMBASS!" side.<p>

And you totally mentioned him when you were talking about Belize or whatever being raised by him. Duh.

...Hey. You're not nice at all, yo. -_-'

And yes.

-United States of America _Alfred F. Jones_

P.S. Pfft. Crazy person.

* * *

><p>Dear Daddy,<p>

...THERE'S A REUNION! Nina didn't tell me bupkiss!

When is it? I've been only near New Hampshire forever,and I wanna see my other siblings!

Love,Alice.

* * *

><p>Ali,<p>

Nina didn't do what I told her to do? Tsk, tsk.

Imma have to talk to her!

And...I don't exactly know yet. Still plannin'.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear papa,<p>

Hey dad its me Florida? You know the sunshine state? Any ways i miss ya pops. you never come down to surf with me any more. Rumor has it this Hurricane season is going to be the worst i have ever had. Georgia is being a duchewanger again as always. I swear she hangs around Uncle Iggy to much. Any ways gotta go catch some waves, dude. The tide is high meaning the waves are going to be EPIC!

love,

Maria Crystal Jones: Florida

* * *

><p>Ria,<p>

Of course I know who you are.

Why are all my kids thinking that I'm forgetting about them? ?

Oh, wait.

It's probably because I haven't seen you all in FOREVER.

And I miss ya, too. Don't worry, tho! Hero Dad is planning a reunion soon. You can see me (and the rest of the American family) there. It'll be totally cool!

Also, be nice to Georgia. Just because she hangs out with Fuzzy-Face doesn't mean anything.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear uncle Alfred.<p>

but you dont need to speak with them on a daily basis do you? you have fifty states who gladly talk to you, your nations people, your first family!

but father, in realty is frightened of being hurt, emtonal and via bodily harm. Its why he shuts him self off from the rest of the world most of the time.

I am glad you can be reasoned with, after just think: if you throw small parties, then people will wonder what needs to be done to get on to this list wont they? they will wonder what goes on, what do you eat things like that! and makeing the nations that DO attend vow not to speak of it will on drive them to do what ever is nessery to get into that party!

There is an event called "fathers day" comeing up, i belive you've heared of it? Perhaps send the card then, with a thing of tea leaves in the package, or something simaluer you knoew Father would like, not you?

And i brought up France raiseing you to raise a point!at least with my Father he dosent molest you when your grown you know

With regards,

Savannah

* * *

><p>Sa-Chan,<p>

No, I don't really need to talk to them...

And I DO have my big family...

But, like, I don't WANT TO-

AUGH!

D:

It's just your dad's a total- RAAAAAH!

Ya know? He used to be cool and stuff and now it's just-

I'M AT A LOSS FOR WORDS.

...Eh, I've been a little...stressed lately, sorry. But I'm not sure if I can really do anything...I kinda went off on him for the last letter I sent. I said sorry, but...

idk.

-UNCLE AL, VAN-CHAN, IT'S UNCLE AAAL

* * *

><p>Dear Dad,<p>

I'm glad that a lot of people have been writing you! You'd better catch up on those letters, dad...

I'm fine... just tired... but you know... summer's here and I can relax a little bit.

I was taking a siesta when she burst in and said I needed to keep myself more busy... then she told me to write lettes to people... and she "suggested" that I wite one to you.

No, You're not a horrible dad... you just get annoying at times, but I still love you...

Love,

Sophia

Arizona

P.S. No Dad... you aren't. Maybe when Utah gets off my back about keepin' busy we can go get hamburgers at Micky D's

* * *

><p>Soph,<p>

Oh, hey! Don't worry AT ALL, I will!

And why are you so tired? I mean, I know that the gas prices where you are through the ROOF and that the cost of living there's gettin' to be a bit of a problem, but is there really more going on? And yeah, I hope you can relax even in that crazy warm weather. It's almost always past a hundred degrees there, during the summer, right? Hahaha!

Oh. Well at least it's awesome that you started writing letters to me, yo!

And I'm glad I'm not a horrible dad. I wouldn't want you to hate me or anything. And I love you too. You and all your insane brothers and sisters.

Love,  
>The Epicest, Most Awesome Dad EVAR<p>

P.S. Haha, I'd love to go, Soph. Tell Utah I told her to calm down. Maybe then she'll quit a bit? Then we could to McDonalds!

* * *

><p>Dad,<p>

It's good to know you're concerned... If that makes sense... Well, yeah...

It is really hectic! It's getting quieter, at least! Maybe things will be better this summer!

Love, your son,

Norman S. Jones

* * *

><p>Norm,<p>

...Why would it not make sense? I'm worried!

And yeah, I hope it is too.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>A*hic*merica,<p>

Whaddareyou talkin' *hic* 'bout? I dun have a stick *hic* up my arse! Aaaargh! You're always wrong, ya know that? -flails arms while laughing somewhat crazily-

When *hic* you were under my care, I aaaalways made sure you were taken *hic* care of and this is how you repay me? The bloody United Kingdom of... of something that's really *hic* bloody long? That's *hic* not veeery nice, now is it, Alfred? Heh... heheheh. Your name *hic* reminds me of chicken alfredo~ it's a *hic* food, ya know~? With chicken. You *hic* always liked chicken and *hic* a bunch of junk food. I neeever understood why -drunken giggle-

Dun *hic* leave meeeee! When you did aaaall those centuries ago, *hic* it made me reeeally sad. Sad. Sadsadsad. Curse the *hic* Fourth of Jules, I say. Those bloody fireworks are so bright and they blind me and when I reeeally nicely ask them to shut the hell up, they *hic* fucking don't. Teach better manners to your *hic* kids, will you, America?

Saaaay, what's that blinky thingy outside~? Do I smell *hic* maple syrup? Weird. I didn't *hic* know there were alkali beveverages flavored like maple! Heheheheh.

Drunk!England

* * *

><p>England...what the hell?<p>

Oh, you're drunk...

Jeez, you do this all the time...

Pfft...Iggy, write sober next time!

...

Wait, wth's up with the thing at the end?

-USA _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p><strong>Ahahaha...I really don't have anything to say...Oh! Hey, that person that wrote in as the other Singapore or whatever. I'm sorry. . Someone was already doing it and...? I don't know, I got confused so I didn't put it in. Sorry~!<strong>

**atra: I can tell~...Heh, I wasn't really expecting a drunken letter from England~. xD**


	10. So Many Heroic Letters

Dear papa,

Watch your language please papa. And a week or so gives us just enough time to get ready. Also, I have found baby birds nesting near my front door. It's supposed to be good luck...I hope it brings good luck. Have you found anything odd lately? Besides Sasquatch...I'm a bit sick if that argument. Anyway, I have to tend to my crops...

Love,

Nina-Claire

* * *

><p>Nina,<p>

Heh...Sorry, Nina.

AND SASQUATCH IS REAL.

Unlike Iggy's friends.

Oh...be careful with those birds if you ever pick one up, yo. I remember when I found a bird once...

I grabbed it to pet it...and-

I was so excited to actually get to hold the bird that I-

It was horrible, Nina. D:

It's why I'm more careful with small furry living animal things.

Well, anyways. Seriously don't hurt those birds.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. DON'T TELL PRUSSIA ABOUT THE BIRD THAT I FOUND!

* * *

><p>Amerika,<p>

The awesome me is a natural-born genius, kesesese~

England? The pussy little tea-sipper that's friends with Austria? Schieße, that's a perfect reason for anyone to feel like crap. I hate that wimpy aristocrat asdfasdfasdsf. Seriously, he thinks he's so high and mighty wahwahwah. But he's really a little bitch whose panties are too tied up in a wad.

...Wait, didn't I make an alliance with England a while back?

CRAP I'M SORRY FRITZ WHO WATCHES ME FROM ABOVE SORRY SORRY SORRY

Du bist willkommen! Someone who praises me... I approve.

Chickens= birds= awesome. That's a fucking COMPLIMENT, bro. Kesesese!

Gilbird? Creepy? You crazy, man? He's cute and soft and adorable. Birds are awesome! Almost as much as me!

My spell didn't work? Hmm. I won't try Spain's 'fusosososo', because it's totally gay. Then again, he is too- for Romano. DAHAHAHAHA! (to Gott and Old Fritz watching me above- I'm sorry. Again. I couldn't help it. I'll go hang with him and Francis now and be nice mmkay? Okay.)

McDonald's? Do they have beer? 'Cause if they don't, then that's a waste. We can go to a brewery at West's place, instead! Mmmm. Beerbeerbeerbeer~

-Giiilbo~!

* * *

><p>Prussia,<p>

Hahaha! You managed to make me laugh again, dude.

Just kidding. I think I'M the one that's the genius. COMIC GENIUS.

...Eh, dude, I won't even ASK.

Hey, do you have an obsession with birds? And your bird IS creepy...it's just...the way...it STARES is...it's so...it's...creepy...

...

Yo, your bird is staring at me like it wants to...

I dunno, EAT me. -Like as if I killed one of its frie-

Hey, maybe your 'spell' DID work. I'm actually feeling a lot better than I did when I wrote you that other letter.

And whyth is Spain gay for South Italy? Isn't that a bit pedo-ish? I mean...the dude RAISED him, didn't he?

And who's the dude you're apolgizing to? ?

Eh, whatever, nvm.

...No, they don't serve beer...

-America _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p>Aloha daddy!<p>

It's me, Hawaii! The little one off in the middle of the pacific Ocean, state Number 50 with all the volcanoes and earthquakes and pineapples. We're having a family reunion? Where? When? How will you will you get New York there with that whole phobia - of- airplanes - since - 9/11 - thing?

Also, England showed up a little while ago and is STILL ranting about how I should have been HIS colony. He says that I should be called Sandwich Islands after the Earl of Sandwich. I guess being a Sandwich wouldn't be so bad, as long as I was one of the ucky ones that nobody eats like egg and cheese and Hersheys kisses. On the plus side, Sealand came too, so I FINALLY have someone to play with and hike with and ride bikes with who isn't a grown - up like Clair. (who IS pretty fun for a Nanny, even though she's no Mary Poppins)It's pretty lonely out in the middle of the Pacific all on my own without anybody else ...

Your's truly, Hawaii (aka Kanalima)

HA-WA-III,

It's nice to hear from you, along with all the other ones (other ones = 50 states; I'm sure you knew that)!

AND YES, we ARE having a family reunion! Hopefully at Texas's place. And in about a week, don't know exactly when. Why...would I need to go to NY? ...? Am I forgetting to do something there?

And England needs to stop bugging you guys, seriously. Always bothering countries and states and stuff...pfft...And why would you want to be a weird, gross sandwich?

And I'm glad you got someone to be able to hang out with! If it were really up to me, you'd be hanging out with your brothers and sisters. And not all...out there in the ocean...

Just make sure to go to the reunion and you won't be so alone, 'kay?

Love,  
>Hero-Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear Daddy,<p>

I understand what your saying.

And thanks!

Love,

Montana AKA Melora R. Jones

* * *

><p>Mel,<p>

Good, I'm glad.

And you're SOOO welcome!

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>...Dad,<p>

I-it still doesn't feel r-right to say that.. I've ben f-fighting with Ohio again, over Toledo this time again... We've foughten o-over football, Toledo, and random n-nonsense... why d-do me and Ohio f-fight so m-much

Alicia Jones, Michigan

* * *

><p>Licia,<p>

You fight because Ohio can be a total douche sometimes.

Hahaha! I'm just kidding. You and Ohio probably just fight because you've got tons of differences and stuff. Besides, you're brother and sister, it's bound to happen. And you two need to NOT fight about Toledo anymore~...It's...

UNHEALTHY.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. Aw! But...I'm your dad! It REALLY shouldn't feel so weird to say it.

* * *

><p>Dear daddy,<p>

It's me, your favorite daughter, Pennsylvania!

So I heard about this whole reunion party thing. Um...you realize all chaos will break loose? Just sayin'. As one of your smart children, I smell violence with Big Mac's..

ANYWAYS~

You should totally visit me! We could visit Hershey Park, the King of Prussia mall (you should tell Gilbert about that anyways, he'd be excited), or Philly! The cradle of the United States! I'm overflowing with possibility, I know.

Also, please do tell Russia to stop visiting me at night. I don't know why he's coming to me.. but he seems drunk and trying to erm..take over my vital regions. Not cool, bro, not cool.

Hoping your awesome and heroic,

Elizabeth Kirkland-Jones

P.S. I miss Iggy kinda.. I mean he did find me and stuff.. is this weird? I randomly just REALLY miss him.

* * *

><p>Pen,<p>

Hahaha! I love that nickname for you...Anyways.

Yeah, I DO realize that it's going to get a little wild. But hey.

Without it, would it really be a reunion?

And I'll totally come and visit you. And I'm not sure about tellin' Prussia about that...He might flip, yo. But HEY! I guess it'd be good to do a good deed. I AM the HERO, anyways...

And don't worry. I'm going go and have a chat with Russia soon.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT HOW CREEPY HE LOOKS.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. Well, I doubt you want to visit him right now. He wrote me a letter and he was completely drunk. His writing was kinda crappy, but I bet it's better than if he would have said it. It'd kinda be something like 'Waan ya wa oonder ma caw, I aaaalayz maade shu yaaooo wa ta'in caw-'. Yeah. I think you get it.

* * *

><p>Daaaaaad~<p>

Nina mailed me a while back and was saying that you were planning a family reunion! Where is it? That would be so totally awesome seein' all you peeps again, especially you dad! You don't visit that much!

Don't worry about the stupid redcoat! (yes, I know he still mails you) If you need help with him I'll show up and set him straight-Southern style!

Love,

Emma Jones (South Carolina, yo!)

* * *

><p>Em,<p>

Yeah, I guess I don't visit ANY of you guys that much.

It makes me sad, you know! I feel like I've been neglecting ya'll. And the reunion's gonna be at Ter's place!

And know thanks, I've got it handled Em. Hahaha!

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear America,<p>

Thanks for answering my previous letter! :)

I hope the tension between the Democrats and Republicans doesn't get too bad either. It tends to get pretty hectic this time of the year, if the ads are anything to go by.

You're right that bin Laden's death doesn't mean the war is over, but I believe it signifies the fact that terrorists won't get away with messing with the Hero!

Yup, I do watch the news a lot, but I also get a lot of information from Wikipedia. ^-^

Sincerely,

Angi

* * *

><p>Angi,<p>

You're welcome!

Yeah. There's always those advertisments EVERYWHERE. And they're always talking about how the other candidate for that position just ISN'T suited for that. I'm thinking that if they really want to be voted for, they should make one of those campaign videos that focus on THEIR qualities instead of bashin' the other, you know?

But it's just a way of thinking.

And you're kinda right! The HERO! always wins! !

And ya know, I'm not sure if Wikipedia's that great. It's just...the information they have...

It's always getting edited by other people. You should look at multiple places to make sure that your informations right, just in case! But it's always good to watch the news, I guess...

It's just sometimes (actually, to me it's, MOST OF THE TIME) it gets really boring...

-America _Alfred F. Jones_

* * *

><p>HAI YOU GAIZ,<p>

...Sorry, I had to do it. It was just BEGGING to be done. So, dad, could I...maybe move back in with you? D.C's taken a HUGE hit because of the economy and I'm not sure if I can-as sad as it is-keep the house. You know it's sad when the personification of the country's capital can't even afford their house, eh? Anyways, could you get New York off my back, if you please? He won't leave me alone. And I'm kinda getting tired of seeing his pink tipped black haired metal filled ass every morning.

Love,

Aleckis "D.C." Jones

P.S. Stop confusing me with Wyoming, please. We don't look THAT much alike, do we?

* * *

><p>Nooo! It's not THAT bad, is it? Ah, jeez...I'm sure things will get better! Just stay where you're at. Just.<p>

Stay.

There.

Until the reunion. Then go to Texas's house.

But when that's over, go back to your house.

AND STAY THERE.

And I'll see what I can do about NY.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. Noo...But I'll stop. I'll try to, I...I PINKY promise. Well, I WOULD, but...eh. You know.

P.P.S. Apparently the...Berlin twins are hosting a party. And that you didn't reply. Then wanted me to tell you about it.

* * *

><p>Dear uhhhh, burgerherobastardperson,<p>

Oh then WAT should I call you? Plus, Rhode island is here with me too...

Actually, he likes my bars better. So does everyone else ( at least, when they remember me...)

Also, remember git- I mean idiot, I am part English too! (and Canadian, and french, but you khew that, non?)

STOP SAYING SO MANY WHYS! I DON'T KNOW WHY HE'S HERE! SOMETHING ABOUT VODKA AND BECOMING ONE!

Uh, if you want to beat some commie ass and make another state like Alsaka, be my guest.

Crap, he really is pulling off his pants. Mayhe I should go n hide like rhode island is doing...

COMMIE BASTARD JUST TIED ME TO THE GROUND.

Help?

Paula Williams-Kirkland-Bonneyfoy-Jones

The state of Connecticut

P.S. You better fix it. And no, I will call u whatever I want. Besides, you still want my hamburger recipe.

* * *

><p>Paul,<p>

Hope you don't me calling you that. Eh, whatever. I'll call you that no matter what from now on...

...Can't believe you're related to France...Don't call me 'git'. It's not in American.

I'm just gonna beat the dude into ground beef, I don't like having another state, kthx, Paul.

Wait, how the hell are you writing when you're TIED?

Whatever. I'm going send these letters and then come to save you.

I'll probably get there before you get your letter.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. ...Paul, I WILL fix it, 'kay?

* * *

><p><strong>And now I'm DONE. If you saw the dash things again, (the letter to Prussia) then remember, it's crossed out. :D Also, I kinda forgot, but Alfred's supposed to be telling the northern states something...? I don't remember, but whatever it is, just PRETEND he said it. Alright? Thanks~. xD<strong>

**Person writing as North Carolina: I'm glad that they make you laugh. xD I didn't think that the letters were all that humerous. And...you know what you should do with one of the birds~? You should take one as a pet, put it on your head and then cosplay as Prussia! xD But those birds probably don't look like Gilbird, do they? xDD**

**Anyways~ Mistakes shall be fixed one day. Soon. Maybe. Hopefully. **


	11. Heroic Letters to BC and NC

Uncle Al,

1: We need to fix that ego of yours, don't we...? Ahahaha~

2: YAY! I think I just need to cook you an awesome dinner sometime. That way, you can just try some of everything! And I'm pretty sure you'll like most of it. It's damn good! Deer's amazing. Mmmm. Bambi Burgers...

3: EH. Either way, I actually made you LEARN something. Hah! Uncle Iggy said I couldn't do it! 8D

4: He keeps telling me stuff like "Trousers and suits aren't appropriate for a young lady like yourself. You should dress properly." Pff. And yeah. I do like him (and his cooking. Apparently there's something wrong with that?). Seems I get along with everybody nowadays... 'Cept France. Stupid frogface.

5: Al, that... was kind of awesome. Let's say loser of two out of three rounds buys the other McDonalds. I could totally go for a Big Mac with you.

6: Psh. Hey, Uncle Al.

...

I swing both ways.

Answer your unspoken question~?

Looove,

Lyra

PS. Love you, Uncle Al. 8D When sounds okay for the tattoo appointment?I'm on the phone with the tattoo parlor now.

* * *

><p>Lyr,<p>

1. It's not an EGO, it's HEROIC SELF-PRIDE. Duh~.

2. Bambi burgers? That's a LOVELY way to put it, Lyr. But I AM kinda lookin' forward to eating some of the food...Food...Delicous food...

Anyways.

3. Well, hey. Good job defying him. But I CAN learn stuff, he just thinks that I'm a totally oblivious person. WHICH I AM NOT. I'm not...

4. Yeah, I guess his cooking sucks. But I can't really tell like other people. I just know that it's bad and that I can't really taste a thing. And the reason you probably don't get along with France is because he's trying to get along with everyone TOO well. Yeah.

5. Of course that was awesome. And DEAL, yo.

6. ...Yeah, it does...Jeez. But that doesn't make it any better!

Love,  
>Uncle Al<p>

P.S. ...I dunno, next week, maybe? I'm loosing track of time. I THINK next week will be okay. Yeah, it will... Pffft. Love ya too, Lyr. And tell that to bro, too. I haven't seen the disappearer in a while. And YES. I remember him.

* * *

><p>Papa,<p>

:o I won't tell him about the bird. And of course I'm not going to hurt the birds! I'm a bit more responsible than that. You wouldn't believe all the animals that come to my door. A couple of incidents with Sasquatch included...when I visit the mountains. And I would hope his friends aren't real...most of them kill people.

Love,

Nina-Claire

P.S. I did tell Maine about the reunion! Consarnit! If there ever was a no good cotton headed ninny it was a damn Yankee. It's a cryin shame too, I told all of em! I says how pa's gonna have a reunion and they're all goin cuz we're kin! But no, noone done care to listen to me none!

P.P.S. Sorry papa...I lost my head there for a second.

* * *

><p>Nina,<p>

Thanks, Nina. You're so nice! And I know that you won't hurt the birds. Its just...

I was trying to tell you to be careful. I didn't want you to experience the same thing I did. It...

It really was horrible...The poor bird...It was just SO SAD, yo!

Eh...anyways.

No they don't! They don't kill! ...Wait, what doesn't kill?

Hm.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. Nina-Claire...It's alright that that happened, but don't insult your brothers and sisters so bad, alright? Kind of uncalled for, ya know?

* * *

><p><strong>This...is so short. o_o I've got stuff to do, but I decided to do two letters because I felt like it~. Not much, but oh well. I'll finish the rest of the letters and stuff tomorrow. I think I was gonna say something else, but I forgot...oh well. I'll just go with saying that all the people that sent in letters are awesome. 'Kay?<strong>

**Oh.**

**NC (person who writes as North Carolina? Yeah. xD): I think what I said yesterday about funny letters (I went back over it and found out I spelled humorous wrong and that ticked me off a bit, but I was too lazy to change it. But hey. This is REALLY just unwanted news for you. So, anyways. xD) and I said that I didn't think the letters weren't that funny or something. But really, I meant the letters that _I _write aren't that funny. That's what I meant. The other ones are funny. Don't know if that's what you meant~. I'm guessing that is. xDD Jeez...And really, I don't think the person will feel...disprected. It's just a matter of 'getting in character'. Or something like that. idk. **

**Wow...I kind of talk a lot, don't I? xD Oh well.**

**Bye~.**


	12. Heroic Letters Are Heroic

**I'm so sorry. ;_; I didn't die. I've been lazy. I'm still being lazy because the letter responses are really short. . I've been getting a bad headache lately which is funny because I just started writing another story and stuff. o_o'**

* * *

><p>Dear Alfred,<p>

How are you doing? Not too badly I hope.

I heard about the state-reunion from Michigan, I'll try to be there. I'm a bit busy helping out with the disaster in Japan a few months ago and Daddy's supposed to be coming over soon, but I'll do my best to make it.

I'm helping out with the whole earthquake deal because the prefecture that was hit the worst, Miyagi, is my Japanese sister-state. He's like a brother to me, remember? He's still not feeling very well, so I'm helping him.

If Daddy does end up coming, (One of Iceland's volcanoes coughed up another ashcloud so he might not be able to make it.)can I bring him to the reunion? We promise not to scare anyone. There's a slight chance of Mom coming as well, but he doesn't really scare anyone. (Except for maybe Russia.)

Love,

Sara Cynthia Oxenstierna-Jones  
>Delaware<p>

* * *

><p>Sara,<p>

I'M WONDERFULLY WONDERFUL. Thanks for asking.

I hope you'll be able to make it. It'd totally suck if you were the only one not to!

And I'm glad that you're helping. It makes me feel so proud! Japan's my buddy, I feel real bad that that happened to him.

And I'm not sure...MAYBE...

OKAY. He can come. But. He. Cannot. Scare. Anyone.

Hola America,

Ay dios mios, Alfred. My sister isn't THAT crazy. If she ever finds that letter she mic her dog on you...

Yo ne se! Mi hermana apparantly likes to take over letters, even if she's just a conversation...

New topic!

Please...

Costa Rica (Francisco Salas)

P.S. ...you just meet a whole bunch of weird people at MmDonalds, don't you?

* * *

><p>Cisco<p>

Okay...Um.

So. New topic.

...I'm totally going to make some type of DNA thing to give people the power to shoot laser beams out of their eyes! Don't you think that's cool? !

-Alfred

P.S. HELL YES I DO. It's so epic, man. There was this one time when this little person came in and he didn't even look like one because he was wearing a HUGE pair of platform shoes. Right after he ordered his food, he sat down and took them off. Everyone was kinda like "WTF?". It was hilarious.

* * *

><p>America,<p>

Yeah yeah, whatever. Douche.

Hey I can't be expected to remember everything! Don't use that tone with me!

Yeah, well you invaded me numerous times. I have a RIGHT to not be nice to you.

Nicaragua

P.S. ya wanna tell me that to my face?

* * *

><p>Nicaragua,<p>

Pfft.

This is a letter. There's no tone anywhere. Just writing. SEE?

WRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITING.

Look on the back of this letter, you can see drawings of rockets and crap.

Which means I was also drawing. Not using tone. Just over-eccentric use of voice. Use the proper term, dude.

-America

P.S. Not unless you're wearing a mask~.

* * *

><p>Yo dude,<p>

Lend me yer abs for a moment, I havent had dinner today~

Can I come visit you one day? We could eat hamburgers and play ps3 all night! D

Love,

~Emma (Oslo, capital of Norway)

* * *

><p>Emma,<p>

Sure , you can come visit me whenever I have time! Just don't expect me to cook breakfast/lunch/dinner for you on my stomach.

* * *

><p>Dear Dad,<p>

Please do.

Also,Could you please tell Iggy to stop coming over to my place drunk and eating all of my blueberries? If you don't and he keeps doing it,Imma gonna pop a cap in his-oh,I won't say. Just somewhere vital for having kids.

Love,Ali.

* * *

><p>Ali,<p>

I'LL BE SURE TO TELL HIM.

And watch what you say...

write.

...

* * *

><p>Dear Dad,<p>

Good.

It's not just gas and living, it's also the controversy of my laws within my state. There are so many opposed to the laws that are passed and then there are so many for them... and on top of that I have to deal with shipping illegal people out, and then I have to deal with the guy who shot my congresswoman a while ago and I get Mexcio bugging me. It's just a whole bunch that I have to deal with. Oh and Utah says I'm not busy...

Sometimes in the summer it gets to 125.

I could never hate you. Even if I tried. No matter how irritated or annoyed I get, I will NEVER hate you.

Love,

Sophia

P.S. Maybe... We'll see.

* * *

><p>Soph,<p>

I hate it when you guys have tons of stuff to deal with. It makes me feel horrible. I want to help, but I've got stuff to deal with too. I'm going to try and help you, Soph!

Aha! Isn't that because you're so close to that line that goes through the earth... or something like that? ...

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Dear America,<p>

I'm sure I can cook well. After all Linda was a much better cook than me Uncle Arthur. Please don't insult Linda like that the bird died of breast cancer. Besides I know how you fell about vegetables but there are plenty of tasty and healthy foods out there that are better than you think. Like I said you don't have to give up eating the things you love. Just eat them less often. Besides being a vegetarian means that you only stop eating animal meat. Well, ovolacto vegetarian like many are, including Paul and I. Oh that term it means that you can eat things that come from animals like milk and eggs but you don't eat their meat. I mean ask Italy pizza is usually a vegetarian food without any meat toppings.

Peace and love,

Liverpool

* * *

><p>...You know that the letter you sent me is getting me really hungry, right? ... And I'm open to try the food, I guess. Food's food!<p>

And I'm gonna go eat some right now~!

-America

* * *

><p>Dad,<p>

Nyet, I'll try. I'm moving back to the apartment though, just ta let'cha know. Er, a-about that...

I kinda promised I'd spend the 4th with Iggy this year.

!

Oh~ THAT. Can you tell them I'll come? I just need to know where and when~

Love,

Aleckis

P.S. Good...because that happens A LOT. Actually, just about as much as you and Canada...

* * *

><p>That totally sucks, yo...<p>

And WHAT? But...

Pfft.

I don't know yet, still planning~.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. ...No one confuses us with the other... At least, I don't remember any doing that...

* * *

><p>Dad,<p>

Thanks Daddy. I love you tons! BTW, Happy Late Memorial Day! Did you, like, do anything to celebrate or honor our other beloved heroes? I was too busy working. Couldn't take the day off because I'm so damn poor. T_T

Yes I am your kid. But you gotta remember I was first raised by my Papis Spain and Mexico…. *tears up a little* And then I kept getting taken away… *sniffle* Estoy un poco triste…

Umm.. ahem… Anyway uhh… *wipes away tears*

Only YOU can prevent forest fires, Daddy. *tries to smile* Seriously, though. Whose plan was it to use a bear to advertise that? I mean I guess it makes sense since there is a bear on my flag, but I'm not the only state that gets wildfires, right? I've been, like, so out of touch with all my brothers and sisters I don't even KNOW anymore. I do hear some of them are experiencing killer weather, though. =( It makes me appreciate my weather much more, but I send them, like, my best wishes.

Slightly depressed and nostalgic,

California *Kelly Destiny Jones/ Calafia Garcia-Fernandez Carriedo

P.S. Just things, Dad. *innocent smile*

P.P.S. I'll figure IT out soon enough? What the heck is that supposed to mean? Did you know Lorenzo thought Texas is a guy? Did you know TEXAS thought she was a guy? Too funny!

* * *

><p>Calli,<p>

I was too busy to celebrate it in an awesome way, but I totally honored those heroes in my head ALL DAY. They're heroes, and heroes always deserve a spot on my mind for a day that was made for them! I hope you did the same for them. It's sad that you couldn't exactly celebrate for them like me.

Well, you're fine now, Calli, don't be sad~!

I think they use a bear because bears live in the woods and stuff. And no one likes hurting animals. And you'll be able to see your brothers and sisters during the reunion! And even though they're kinda in trouble right now, I'm trying to help them.

Be happy, Calli!

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. ...Calli...

* * *

><p>America,<p>

Ugh, my head is throbbing like mad...

And you replied to me, but I don't recall ever writing anything to y- OH BLOODY HELL. Was I plastered? Bollocks.

Also, did you hear that your boss and mine called our *political* relationship 'essential'? -laughs sardonically- Since when are you nice to me enough to deserve a friendship?

England

* * *

><p>England,<p>

Since now, Iggy!

Dude, you might think I'm a total jerk, but I've recently come to a new perspective! I'll totally be nice to you from now on, yo! Just stop getting so badly drunk.

-Alfred

* * *

><p>D-dad,<p>

U-uhm, I guess that is true... b-but I don't k-know why we fight over i-it, it's all said and d-done ( I think I got the better deal, thankyouverymuch)

Macie( the U.P.) is s-sick again.. what do I do?

Alicia

* * *

><p>...Put a hamburger on their forehead!<p>

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Amerika,<p>

PFFFFT. KESESESESE!

YOU? A GENIUS?

Schieße, I can't beat that level of comedy.

Fritz is my old leader who... who... er. He's not in this E-Earth any more. BUT I KNOW YOU WATCH ME, SIR, FROM SOMEWHERE ABOVE IN HEAVEN.

Hey, you have some sort of fetish for McDonald's, but I say nothin'. Gilbird just probably doesn't like, you then. Dahahaha!

...were you... were you a-about to say you killed a BIRD? A BIRD? VERDAMMT, WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO YOU, HUH?

I WILL END YOU, IF YOU DID! YA HEAR, AMERIKA? END YOUUUU!

Oh, so it only took a while for the awesome me's effects to take place! Gut. Then again... -draws a little scribble of beheaded America with a little bird atop the dismembered head-

Ask Spanien, not me. I don't ogle at dudes.

FRITZ, DUMMKOPF. Old Fritz. How can you have never heard of the greatest leader ever?

Fuck McDonald's, then.

-Prussia

* * *

><p>Prussia,<p>

That's me being a genius!

You see, you think you're a genius, but you're not and I am, yet you don't believe me, but I really am, and you called me that too, because you said yourself that you 'can't beat that level of comedy'. All in all, I am the true winner of this battle and therefore, am the hero and you, the loser.

...

'Dahahaha' my ass. I don't have a fetish, I just love the food. But I agree with you saying that your bird doesn't like me. He pecked my hand when I grabbed the letter.

I DIDN'T KILL ANY BIRDS! I SWEAR! IT WAS AN ACCIDENT, IT KILLED ITSELF!

IT...

IT WAS A SUICIDAL BIRD.

And you so do. I SAW you looking at Canada.

You may think you'll end me, but if you do so much as TOUCH him, I'll BUST. A. CAP. ON. YOUR. ASS.

I'm not playin', yo. Don't be surprised if I make a shank if I see you hanging around him.

This doodle of me is an empty threat.

-America

* * *

><p>Dear uncle Alfred,<p>

Perhaps you dont need to talk to them, but if ever you need a shoulder to lean on you have many childern to talk to. Father however has very few members that care for him. Once you betrayed Father he changed a great deal, no longer was he content to allow colonies to stay in their homes, instead he drug them to his home, forced them to forget their native tongue and customs, replaceing them with all thigs English.

I my self was not even spared, i was barely ever able to leave the home with out him or one of his "faithful servents to go with me, so i could no longer wander my own streets as i pleased to meet my friends.

Once a kind gentle man became a abusive tyrent who cared little for his own family, to him if his own beloved son could betray him it wouldnt be too long for those close to him to do so.

And i understand, stress can make you act differntly then you normal do. I would suggest a lovly lavender candle to burn near your work space and bed, the arouma is quite relaxing.

And if Father can forgive you for a war i am sure he can forgive you for shoughting at him

with regards,

Savannah Kirkland

* * *

><p>Savannah,<p>

Hey! I'm totally trying to talk to Iggy now!

Isn't that just awesome? I kinda went off on him and felt bad. Now I'm trying to talk to him. He'll be happy to not be so lonely now! !

Now he won't be such a jerk, hopefully.

Maybe he'll be able to get close with you guys again. It's sort of his fault for not getting over it...But oh well.

And I'll try that! It might help.

...I hope so.

-Alfred

* * *

><p>to: the United States of America,<p>

I suppose I should be happy that you forgive me. And do pardon, not everybody is able to understand American. Much less me and my fellow citizens. We are very different. No doubt some things we say would puzzle you and what you do would puzzle us.

Yes, Thailand would not mind, however, perhaps we would look somewhere else?

Until our next arranged meeting,

Republic Of Singapore

* * *

><p>Oh, well sorry! American is just the language I like to speak! I just can't help it around non-American speakers. And you and your citizens wouldn't be the only ones to confuse the heck out of us. We're just completely different, that's why.<p>

Hm... Yeah! Maybe setting up relations with other nations would do good.

-United States of America

* * *

><p>Dear Amerique!<p>

Bonjour, my dear. How are you? Have you seen Arthur lately? He has not shown up at my door for a while, and I am getting rather worried. But that aside, what are you doing? When I have the chance, I will come visit.

With love,

Francis Bonnefoy (France)

* * *

><p>France,<p>

Yo, quit trying to rape my kids!

Anyways... I'm fine. Iggy's being himself and acting like a loner. I'm trying to help him, though.

And I'm helping the EARTH. Because that's just what I do. France...Dude, I'm seriously busy at the moment and I don't think that even when you DO get the chance to visit me, you won't be able to cause everyone wants to hang out with the hero and I'm totally booked.

-Alfred

* * *

><p>*ahem* Dear DAD,<p>

No calling me Paul, and I might call you dad from now on. Might.

Ohonhon- Argh! I hate that laugh!- I still am part french, otherwise i wouldn't invent the hamburger (even though germany came up with the name), no?

Besides, Daddy France already explained to me how i was born. Hur hur, I came out of Iggy...

Its British, not American. Learn your language.

Im tied up, but Russia didn't see that i have my phone in my hand to send you this on. Ohonhonhon.

Um, ok? Just make sure that you can come fast. Oh, you came.

Paula Williams-Kirkland-Bonneyfoy-Jones

The State of Connecticut

P.S. Ok, Why did Penn tell me about a Family Reunion? Does that mean that I have to make Hamburgers?

* * *

><p>Paul.<p>

I. Totally. Kicked. Russia's. Ass.

That is all.

And that conversation we had after I saved you...

Don't tell anyone about it. YOU KNOW WHY.

And I don't think that I told you, but I think we're just gonna get the food at McDonalds. Don't want you to be angry for cooking burgers for everyone at the reunion. You need to be HAPPY.

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Hey Dad,<p>

I heard you were writing letters to people, and I decided to say hello! I mean, since I haven t seen you in a while, and since you re always so busy, I guess it seemed like the only way to talk to you. Not that you never try to contact me, but I dunno I feel kind of left out? W-wait, forget that last part! It doesn t even matter! Umm

So what s up with you? I was just hoping to say hi, because it s been far too long since I last saw you!

Speaking of which~

I heard from Wisconsin there was some sort of reunion being planned. Do you have any idea when that is supposed to be? I d love to come; I ll bring some Chicago-style hot dogs. I know they aren t burgers, but you d try one, right? Y know, since they re the best ones around of course!

Anyway, all this hot weather is making me exhausted, so I m gonna take a nap. I guess I m just not used to all this summer heat. Was it always so hot when I was little? *Yawn~*

G nite!

-William Jones (Illinois)

* * *

><p>You're not left out! I've just been busy!<p>

I've just been trying to save the world with my epic heroicness.

I have no clue when the reunion's taking place, yet. I wanted to take place on a CERTAIN day, but I guess it can't happen then. Pfft. And of course I'd try it. Food's food!

Love,  
>Dad<p>

* * *

><p>Father,<p>

This is the State of Iowa. Why would anyone wish to cook eggs on your abs? It would be a waste of food and the thought of someone doing that bothers me greatly.

...I know that I'm not one of your more interesting states, but I would...appreciate a visit. It has been a long time since you have seen the animals. I have new baby chicks that I am having trouble naming...If you want to help that is! You do not have to come if you don't want to.

How is your enviromental work going, Father? I heard that you were having some problems, do you require assistance? N-not that you aren't capable of doing it on your own, I just thought...

I shall end this correspondance now, before I make a larger fool of myself.

With fond regards,

The State of Iowa

T.J. Jones.

P.S. ...I miss you, Father. B-but don't tell anyone! My reputation...

* * *

><p>Don't worry. I don't think anyone would actually do it.<p>

You've got some birds too? ...Oh. Hm. You should bring them to the reunion that we're having! You're brothers, sisters, and I can help name them.

And help would be awesome! It's heroic! !

And you're not making a fool of yourself. Hahaha! You're awesome, Iowa!

Love,  
>Dad<p>

P.S. Hey! I miss ya too! But why reputation over family?

* * *

><p><strong>'Bout the letter to Prussia. :'D Haha~... I just put in the implied PruCan because I wanted a reason for Alfred to go gangster on Prussia. That is all. MISTAKES...probably won't be fixed. <strong>


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